Jeffrey Campbell “Cleata”
Customer review:
“I loove this shoe! I purchased it for my bday and wore it with vintage ripped shorts and a collared, quarter-length, oversized, pale yellow shirt and it BANGED!! However, I must add that this shoe is very versatile and can be dressed up or down. It gives every outfit a very polished, futuristic look! Worth every penny 
:
(Solestruck, $159)
Questions?
Tags: hideous crap, Jeffrey Campbell, shoes
June 21st, 2012 at 3:41 am
I am sorry but these are the ugliest effing shoes I have ever seen. My little cousins have them and I want to throw up on every photo I see of them wearing the things.
June 21st, 2012 at 4:35 am
Just the one shoe? Could she not afford the pair? OR are these shoes soooo cool that you can only wear one at a time? Oh, now don’t I feel like the out of touch old fool……..
June 21st, 2012 at 4:54 am
When she said it ‘banged’ does she mean it humped her i.e. performed a sexual act upon her??
June 21st, 2012 at 6:46 am
Do you have dress the shoe (up or down) because it’s obviously naked? Is it like the Emperor’s new clothes? Also, the foot sweat that fogs up the plastic when you wear it, is that what makes it “polished”?
June 21st, 2012 at 7:56 am
She/he can use a comma but not an exclamation point?
June 21st, 2012 at 8:10 am
Yeah, I’m sure it BANGED. I want to bang my head on the desk looking at this shoe.
June 21st, 2012 at 11:30 am
Hahahaha! Dressed up or down, yeah, right. They should have called it “the Cloaca.”
June 21st, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Where does the quotation end?
Who said this … has she escaped from her place of captivity again?
It’s a crap ugly shoe.
I’m so glad there’s only one. Two would be too much!
June 21st, 2012 at 5:08 pm
That is the ugliest shoe I have ever seen. Maybe … MAYBE if it was all black I could reconsider.
Deb
June 21st, 2012 at 7:51 pm
I’d like a few more adjectives about that yellow shirt.
June 22nd, 2012 at 6:36 am
Take your pick Sister Wolf. Maybe the shirt is deconstructed, upcycled, thrifted, dry cleanable, partially organic woven hemp but mostly polyester, lemony, daffodil scented, mustard toned, primrose, golden, cadmium hued, flaxen, or biker chic.
June 22nd, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Sister and Rosie, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha.
June 22nd, 2012 at 2:53 pm
is it at all painful to wear?? the heel height looks to be offset by the front platform.
Just wondering, for future potential purchases…
June 23rd, 2012 at 3:06 am
Only one question: why? Also (too), I would love to challenge the statement “It gives every outfit a very polished, futuristic look.”
I just got back from a 2-week holiday in Thailand and Vietnam and I must confess there were moments when I felt (slightly) insecure about my degree of being polished and futuristic. If only I had worn those “shoes”.
June 23rd, 2012 at 9:06 am
I tried a pair of these boots on the other day (for shits and giggles, you understand) and I can honestly say it’s like walking with your feet trapped in a block of wood. The platform makes them almost flat, but you are still walking on stilts. Very tall, unyielding stilts. I’d be interested to know how many injuries have been caused by wearing Jeffrey Campbell’s creations…
June 23rd, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Holy cow – I had to re-read everything because for a second I thought you were serious!!! Thank God it was a customer review. I seriously thought you went off your rocker.
June 23rd, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Don’t you think think that people who bought, sorry, curated those shoes got their well deserved punishment in one goal, bunions included? I’m afraid that all our attempts to describe the ugliness of them don’t match the pain they cause to the ones who wear them.
The thing that makes me really angry is that those shoes prove the stereotype and force me into stereotypical thinking that people with stupid shoes are stupid. I don’t want to be a shoe Nazi! Bastards!
June 24th, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I think these shoes are so fucking awful and they literally JUST WONT DIE. I can’t go anywhere out in LA especially on the east side where I live without seeing at least ten fucking pairs in any given night.
June 25th, 2012 at 11:19 am
your shirt sounds ugly, lady.
June 25th, 2012 at 9:42 pm
rosie: hahahahahahahahaahhahahaha
June 27th, 2012 at 8:32 am
I have just bought a pair of shoes with a 4 and a half inch heel.
How I am going to walk in them is a mystery even to me, seeing as I wear Celt boots or trainers every day. They look like this:
http://images2.solestruck.com/philip-simon-shoes/Philip-Simon-shoes-Kevoik-Heel-(Black-Suede)-010604.jpg
Somehow, I have deluded myself into thinking the thick rubber sole will save me from walking like a newbie man in drag, no, scratch that, a newbie man in drag would have better skills.
As for Jeffery Campbell, thanks to him, my black milk addiction has finally been quashed.
June 27th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Make Do- I just laughed out loud so long and hard, it extremely upset the unpleasant Dysautonomia side affects that I am currently experiencing. It’s OK though, I needed a good laugh.
June 28th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
ah ah this is funny, she describes how she wore it….the shoes make a statement they don’t need a yellow shirt Lol
thank you Sister Wolf, you made me laugh
July 5th, 2012 at 6:14 am
lol. From the name of the shoe, I think I was expecting to see… cleats? Or at least… spikes? Was that wrong?
August 2nd, 2012 at 3:18 pm
I was wearing my Jeffery Campbell Lita booties when i fell and broke my wrist.
August 2nd, 2012 at 6:25 pm
DarcieDark – They’re out to kill you! I hope you throw away those death-traps.
August 8th, 2012 at 9:26 pm
I like these shoes and I have a crappy pair of ‘Lita’ knock-offs. I still really enjoy these posts.
September 6th, 2012 at 3:39 am
I really want to know the sizing of these are they just like the normal litas?