Monthly Archives: July 2012

Big Boy Pants

What the fuck is up with the “big boy pants?” It’s such an annoying expression that after hearing it three times, I need it to go away. Did everyone hear Debbie Wasserman Schultz tell Romney and his staff to put … Continue reading

Posted in irritants, Rants, Words | Tagged , , | 22 Comments

Let’s Do the Math

Admit that these shoes are perfect for me. They’re flat, they’re pointy, they’re an impractical color. They are screaming my name. Plus, they’re on sale, reduced from $850 to $340! I would be saving $510! But I know it’s wrong … Continue reading

Posted in Disorders, Fashion | Tagged , , | 33 Comments

First We Kill All The

One day last week, I had the clever idea of paraphrasing Shakespeare with a post called “First we kill  all the something,”  But now I’ve forgotten what the Something was. You’d think if I really hated it, I would remember … Continue reading

Posted in irritants, Words | Tagged , , | 43 Comments

The Real Truth About Tom and Katie

I just had an exclusive interview with myself and here’s what I learned: Everything you read about Katie and Tom‘s divorce is coming directly to you out of someone’s ass! That’s right, and not long ago, it came from mine, … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, News, Words | Tagged , , , | 31 Comments

Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles: Something to See

Resurrect Dead : The Mystery of the Toynbee tiles is an unusually compelling documentary about a young artist who becomes obsessed with solving the mystery of odd handmade tiles that began appearing randomly on streets and highways across America in … Continue reading

Posted in Art | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

4th of July

Listening to the fireworks outside tonight, I’m reminded of Eddie, a kid who lived down the street. He was obsessed with fireworks and talked about them all year long. Eddie was always a little shit. He was the same age … Continue reading

Posted in Horrible Stuff | 22 Comments