Bearded Ladies

Miriam's beard
I was thrilled by a heads-up from my UK boyfriend David Duff, directing me to the wonderful lady above. Her name is Mariam, and according to her, the beard is the result of an experiment: She wanted to see what would happen if she stopped removing her persistent chin hair. Voila ! Now she works for a circus.

I’d like to work for a circus, but I’m not going to grow a beard.  I’d like to have thicker eyebrows and more armpit hair, even if it didn’t involve a circus job. More realistically, women my age should be busy signing up their best friends to care for their chin hair should they end up incapacitated in a nursing home.

Mariam probably knows that Alice B. Toklas was known for her luxuriant mustache.
Alice B. Toklas
I happen to love bearded ladies. I didn’t know they still existed, although I remember seeing a bearded lady in line at Toys R Us around thirty years ago. If only cell phones had been invented!

It’s easy to accept a woman’s mustache when she is Frida Kahlo. Other women might want to think twice. Even my Special Sister feels a personal bond with Frida, as she states so eloquently in her own blog: “I have always felt a strong connection to Frida Kahlo. She embraced her natural hairiness and even broke her pelvis…whadda coincidence! As much as a painter, I look to Frida as a style icon. “
Lori with full mustache

Alas, I see no resemblance.

Many of the famous bearded Ladies who toured with circuses in the late 19th century look suspiciously like men wearing dresses. And that’s okay with me, because I love a man in a dress.

Bearded Lady Annie JonesJane Devere

 

Ladies, are you ready to grow a beard, or will they bury you with a tweezer in your cold dead hands?

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14 Responses to “Bearded Ladies”

  1. David Duff Says:

    I just knew you would go for the bearded lady, Sis, and your final sentence is a classic!

  2. Sam Says:

    Tweezers have been a part of my life for as long as I remember. I do enjoy a sit down in front of a strong light & magnified mirror, I find it cathartic; plucking & squeezing away until I look like I’ve just had a face peel.
    I have removed the odd long hair from my chin too, but at this stage in my life I don’t have that many hairs there to concern myself with.
    They will come & I will make a decision then about what to do with them.
    Bearded ladies don’t bother me, & why should they, nature gave us all hair there so who am I to argue?
    The photo on Cocorosie’s album cover for Grey Oceans has a certain wymsical appeal, so who knows, like muscles & tattoos, what was once deemed as purely masculine traits, hairy faces on lassies will one day become quite the norm I spose.

    I’ve just had the first sip of a glass of red wine which has made my head feel fuzzy, does that count?

  3. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sam – Yes, get back to me when you’ve sobered up. This is serious business!

  4. Sandra Says:

    I think it’s a thing where you have to Go Big Or Go Home. So just as I think men who can only grow pubestaches should keep their mugs shaved, if I were not able to grow a full-on lumberjack beard, I’d tweeze that shit.

  5. Sam Says:

    Sorry, did I say that out loud?

  6. ali Says:

    I think Sandra may be on to something. As a blonde, I would not be interested in a sewer rat beard pube beard. But there is something quite luxurious about the black…

    But, if I could grow sideburns…. I’d take it in dirty blonde!

  7. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sandra – Yep, I like your take on this.

    Sam – Hahaaha, that’s how I feel when I read what I’ve written here.

    ali – Your poor unfortunate blonde! I’m glad that blondes have trouble in any area, that’s how much I have envied them since the beginning of time.

  8. Hammie Says:

    Have always tweezed/waxed and am now getting my coarse italian/Scottish facial hair threaded on a regular basis.

    But I’m in a quandary now as my 13 year old is becoming very fuzzy thanks to double the Latino genes. Do I set an example and let my armpits go Julia Roberts or do I find a way to get her depilated ?

  9. Brother Bear Says:

    Oh, family pictures, neat!

  10. Sister Wolf Says:

    Hammie – Remember Madonna’s daughter got fuzzy?

    http://www.godammit.com/2008/05/30/the-lourdes-project/

    I hope you will wait before taking a action. Your daughter is so extremely beautiful that only a full beard would detract from it.

  11. Jean Von pussy Says:

    For some reason, my husband loves to pluck
    Out my random hairs. He even gets upset
    When I get to the hairs before he does.
    I’m just lucky, I guess. Don’t hate me.
    I’ve seen women with beards- many female rabbis
    (Gay) let their facial hair fly freely. While I’m seriously
    Grossed out- I understand the politics behind it.
    But I feel like I’m seeing something I shouldn’t .
    I no more want to see that than I want someone
    To cut a hole in their jeans so I can see the pubes.

  12. Thoas Says:

    Oh, Jean, that’s just silly.

  13. rosa Says:

    It is my daughters jobs to remove my facial hairs that I cannot see/reach etc, but they don’t care and claim not to notice them. I get an occasional horrifying glance in the mirror of long long, not pretty at all chin hair, one of them is strong enough to be used as a lethal weapon if so needed. My 80 year old mother has less facial hair than me. One of our school dinner ladies ( in the 1970′s) had a beard, I could never understand why she didn’t shave it off, and it still makes no sense.

  14. Monica Says:

    Thanks to a casserole of effed up hormones, sadly, I’d be able to do this simply by not waxing for a week. I tried electrolysis but it didn’t work. I guess I should have followed through with the whole “required sessions” thing. Details.

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