Could It Be Low T?

poor low t couple

If you live in the US and watch TV, you have been bombarded with commercials touting drugs for low testosterone. Never mind that doctors agree only a small proportion of men – about 0.5% – need testosterone therapy.

The ads are funny at first, then it might occur to you that a lot of money is being made by pharmaceutical companies preying on mens insecurities. Not only that, but they are pathologizing the aging process.  But of course it gets worse.

High testosterone levels increase your risk of heart attack, stroke, and death by 30%. Averse effects of testosterone drugs are creating a whole new class of lawsuit. But those constant ads keep nagging that if you just feel kind of icky, kind of grumpy and apathetic, IT COULD BE LOW T!!!

So I went to the website Is it Low T and took the quiz. I had a strong feeling, no, really an absolute conviction that I would test positive for Low T. Here is my score, where I lied about my erections because I wasn’t sure how to answer.

low t score

As you can see, I’m in big trouble. I’m not even a man and I have fucking Low T!

When I was a weight-lifter, in another lifetime, many of the guys at my gym were huge pro bodybuilders. At certain points in their ‘training cycle,’ they would bulk up by taking steroids and pure testosterone. You could tell which ones were using, because they were easily enraged and prone to acne breakouts on their backs and shoulders. Their feeling was obviously, Anything for bigger muscles.

Now, men are urged to raise their testosterone levels if they’re feeling sad or tired or don’t always feel like having sex. Look at that poor suffering couple above. He looks around 20 but awwwww, he can’t get it up. She’s not helping with that awful white bra. Is she a nursing mother or something? Anyway, this image comes from an article about Low T. I wish she would just masturbate and leave him alone.

Here is a chart showing the rise in testosterone prescribing between 2000 and 2010:

testosterone_4 chart

I don’t know about you, but I see plenty of repercussions.  Angry, acne-ridden men who want to fuck all the time when they’re not dropping dead of a heart attack. I’m just not into it.  If you or your sad and apathetic husband still see more testosterone as the answer to you problems,  bookmark this ad:

lawsuit Low-Testosterone-Treatment-Side-Effects

 

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8 Responses to “Could It Be Low T?”

  1. Erika Says:

    I think Testosterone levels increase if you just let the body hair grow and stop hanging out with white bra wearing, emasculating bitches. There has to be a correlation.

  2. David Duff Says:

    I can’t help pointing out that according to your graph above us British chaps, obviously being fearfully manly and, er, upright, have barely increased the amount of testosterone despite the fact that all decent British gals wear white underwear! I can affirm that last claim on the basis of many years of diligent research.

  3. Suzanne Says:

    Great post. I think the term “Low T” needs to be added to the 2014 banned words list. Why the hell, when it’s a male sexual dysfunction, drug companies have to give the problem some less embarrassing name? It pisses me off. I’m ready for “vaginal dryness” to be renamed Dry V.

  4. Dj Says:

    Ridickulous!

  5. Bmo Says:

    ” I wish she would just masturbate and leave him alone.”

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. So on point and hilarious! Anything for a healthy man! Why can’t people just let life take its course? If you are not dying, don’t pop pills.

  6. Maureen Blair Says:

    As usual, Sis, you are on the cutting edge. INCISIVE, so to speak! Low T can lead to High Tea? I just don’t buy it! :) Love you. Mo in KCMO

  7. Bonnie Says:

    Most testosterone replacement therapy comes in a gel that is rubbed on before going to bed. However if it transfers to the skin of the user’s significant other it can cause side effects like facial/body hair growth and a deepened voice. Apparently these effects are irreversible. If my husband was using this crap I wouldn’t let him anywhere near me, and his awesome new erectile capabilities would be useless.

  8. Eek Says:

    I think the impotent greaseball with the ponytail lost it after looking at himself on the ceiling mirror.

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