The Mighty Hipster

How to be a hipster

To paraphrase a quote misattributed to Mark Twain,  Rumors of the death of the hipster are greatly exaggerated.

How many times have you come across a snide appraisal of hipsters, whatever iteration hipster is current at the time, with the conclusion that the species has hit rock bottom. Hipsters are so over, just look at them.

The last time I read something like that, hipsters were kind of effete and emo, remember them? And they had to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon for some reason.

Chris Sanderson, a trend forcaster, explains:“The hipster died the minute we called him a hipster. The word no longer had the same meaning.” Oh please, Chris, as if.  Then there was  a report last month from researchers at the University of New South Wales who discovered that the hipster look was no longer “hip.”

I’m down with Chris’s notion that there are now two types of hipster: “Contemporary hipsters – the ones with the beards we love to hate – and proto-hipsters, the real deal.” So, okay, the Real Deal means ‘us’ and the faux hipsters are ‘them’. That’s cool with me, I guess.

Hipsters were once people who rejected societal norms. White people who liked black jazz, people who read William Burroughs or Iceberg Slim. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t about a uniform that signaled you were cool and in-the-know.

I still like the definition of a hipster as someone who was into whatever you’re into, 5 years ago. He has moved on and you will never keep up with him. I can reliably turn to my Nephew Russell, who was riding a fixed bike years ago. He is too hip for Facebook, not to mention Twitter. Whatever browser he uses for the internet, you’ve never heard of it. Whatever coffee you drink, he knows a place to get better coffee and it’s not a chain, either. It’s a given that he despises hipsters.

This Sanderson guy, the hipster expert, predicts an ‘overhaul’ in hipsters as we now know them  He predicts “A more macho look, almost to the point of caricature, in a bid for men to reinforce their identity.”

Uh-oh, he’d better be wrong about this. The hipsters I’m seeing (whether proto, meta or crypto) are already bearded and scruffy enough to be woodsman and ax-murderers. Will they adopt an even more primitive look, like early cro-magnons? Whatever the next wave turns out to be, I’m confidant that the hipster will be here til the end, a survivor, like the mighty cockroach. Just more annoying.

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11 Responses to “The Mighty Hipster”

  1. Dj Says:

    Real hipsters don’t try so damn hard…this guy spends hours on his image daily.

  2. Rosie Says:

    Can these men get girls to kiss them? That beard looks un-hygenic at best. Ew! And he is wearing girls trousers, my Mum wears these sorts of trousers and she is 80. She is pretty hip though.

  3. Kellie Says:

    I love this post!! They all think they are the only one with the look!! And are so serious about life and everything in it.
    And DEEP, don’t forget DEEP.
    Thinkers, readers and new revolutionists.

    Asshats.

  4. Suspended Says:

    That beard has smellavision.

  5. Dj Says:

    Rosie, they don’t need girls to kiss them, the kiss themselves in the nirror

  6. Dj Says:

    I meant mirror

  7. Eek Says:

    I genuinely want to meet your Nephew Russell. If you just wrote down whatever he says, you could launch a whole new post-hipster magazine. Would you agree that this is one of the fascinations of your friend Madonna? I always wonder how she manages to hear about the various gimmicks she adopts. I mean, like her or hate her, she is any early adopter, isn’t she?

    Yes, adopter pun intended.

  8. Eek Says:

    Incidentally, that beard is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life. It looks sentient. One can barely imagine what might live within it. It is impossible to know the thought process behind its creation.

  9. Eek Says:

    Hey, are there female douches and hipsters? That would be fun!

  10. Jet aka Punk Glam Queen Says:

    I like that you’ve defined the difference between “real” hipsters like your newphew Russell (there should actually be another name for this version, maybe “visionary”?) and the fake hipsters (or should I say “faux” as they would? haha!)

    Eek, yes there are female hipsters; come to NY, or even better Brooklyn, hipster central. So glad we moved from that area of Brooklyn, as it’s now overrun by hipsters, ugh! (Though I do terribly miss another part of Brooklyn where we lived for quite a long time. It hasn’t changed much, as its an old money neighbourhood; we just happened to luck into a great huge apartment deal… maybe someday we’ll be back… ah a woman can dream!)

  11. Attilio Says:

    Real hipsters don’t bother commenting on “being hipsters”. Alternatively, real hipsters write “real hipsters don’t bother commenting” when commenting on “being hipsters”.

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