Category Archives: Celebrities

Fuck It, Let’s Get Back to Angelina

We have waited patiently for news on the Brad and Angie front, and while there’s no dirt beyond the fake “insiders are saying” stories, here’s something wonderful: Angelina is in early negotiations to star in the Afghanistan war drama “Shoot … Continue reading

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Let’s Take A Moment To Thank Brad And Angie

When I heard this morning that Brad and Angie are getting divorced, I was filled with a deep joy that spread through my being like one of Sting’s tantric orgasms, only better. Who among us has not been waiting for … Continue reading

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What’s Your Price For Sully?

Every time I see an ad for “Sully” I groan and announce that I wouldn’t see it for less than $500. Five hundred bucks is my customary price for a film that sounds truly awful, at least by my very … Continue reading

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Amal Clooney Challenges Angelina Jolie To A Thin Arms Smackdown

Clotheshorse lawyer and handbag hoarder Amal Clooney has issued a challenge to rival Angelina Jolie in the Thin Arms Olympics. Wearing a priceless vintage YSL gown at the Berlin premiere of husband George Clooney’s new movie, Amal looked every inch … Continue reading

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Mother Theresa Was No Saint

I never liked Mother Theresa, despite her reputation as the embodiment of selfless compassion. She looked kind of sinister, and even smiling she exuded no warmth. I felt vindicated to learn that she had many critics. Aroup Chatterjee, a doctor … Continue reading

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The Lena Dunham Problem, Solved

If you’ve always felt uneasy about disliking Lena Dunham, today she has given you license to go ahead and find her repugnant. You don’t have to struggle with your looks-ism or whatever else was holding you back. She’s an annoying … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, irritants, Words | Tagged , | 14 Comments

MTV Awards 2016 Exegesis

It was a night of big thighs and vigorous twerking, with white “artists” scoring a perfect zero. Kanye provided the obligatory dis to Taylor Swift in a short but obnoxious tribute to himself. Taylor is a bad sport, so in … Continue reading

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Grammys 2016 Exegesis

Torture. Continue reading

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2015 VMA Awards Exegesis

The horror, right? It was mostly non-stop horror, with the exception of Kanye West‘s comic turn. Poor Kanye! He could talk forever and never make sense. That is his genius. I tired to explain to my husband why I don’t … Continue reading

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Announcing My Reality Show, ‘I Am Cunt’

I decided to skip the new Caitlyn Jenner show because (1) I am just sick of her/him, and (2) I was busy watching my other Sunday shit as discussed only last week. But upon reflection, I feel I should have … Continue reading

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