Godammit, I’m Mad!

After all my labor at Refinery 29, I won a contest at Fashion Intel! Yay! I haven’t had a watch since I lost mine in January, so this is the perfect prize.

Some bitch castigated me for entering the Refinery 29 contests, like it was proof positive of my lonely boring wretched life as a guilt-ridden old crone with no purpose in life.

Fuck you, bitch! My purpose was winning a watch and now I’ve done it.

Why I didn’t win the latest Refinery 29 contest where you had to describe your “steamiest seduction story” is a total mystery, though.  My story was by far the least nauseating. Oh well.

In any case, it has been exhausting to read the hate mail that’s been pouring in this week. If you’re a raving moron who can’t spell “you’re” but you like the word “vitriol,” I know I’ll be hearing from you.  But try to remember: You can’t hurt me and you can’t shut me up.

Love, xo SW

I’m sorry, I need to keep entering these contests at Refinery 29. I am persistent if nothing else.

Take a moment to vote for Kate of Make Do Style, whose delightful short film deserves to make the cut at the Paris film festival, presented by Diane Pernet… vote here, right now!!

xoxoxo

Yes, I have entered another contest at Refinery 29.  All I have to do is come up with the best outfit for an outdoor party.  Simple, right? Outdoor parties are my fucking life!

The prize is a bottle of the “ultimate pink” nail polish by Deborah Lippman.

Look how that bitch above me has to “throw on” her shoes right after I said I’d “throw on” my Wangs.  What a copycat!

Refinery 29 is running ANOTHER contest, this time to win a piece of Rossmore Jewelry. You just have to write about your favorite summer accessory and the most interesting answer will win.

Imagine my horror to find that some bitch named Jinjen wrote about an alligator foot necklace that goes with all her dark and tribal blah blah blah, a full hour before I wrote my entry. Fuck! What a cheater!

Here are the results of Mom’s hard work redecorating the family crib.  Follow directions CAREFULLY.

1. Click on photos to expand to full size.
2. Don’t scream if you’re at work.
3. Find one item you would like to see in your own living room.
4. Explain the concept without using the word “jungle.”

Refinery 29 just launched a Los Angeles-based blog and here is part of today’s post about redheads, written by the editor:

Maybe all the brunettes are lightening up for summer or maybe there’s something appealing about standing out in the So-Cal sea of blonde-and-bronze, but we think this is a hair trend that’s catching on like, well, wild fire. So, when we saw this insanely beautiful new fashion shoot (sent to us by our dear friend, Hamish), we nearly flipped our lid. The editorial, shot in London by expert lens-woman, Kate Cox, captures the photographer’s redheaded friends, and somehow has a totally hippie-esque L.A.-in-the-’70s-vibe to it. We’ve included a few of Kate’s red-hot shots and asked a local go-to hue aficionado to shed some light on how to keep your scarlet locks looking good if you should opt for red trademark tresses—and, trend alert!—you def should!

A local go-to hue aficionado?! Lens-woman?! Scarlet locks?!

Is this why I can’t get a new writing job? Why don’t I just kill myself!

If anyone can write a worse paragraph about redheads, I will devote a post to your literary genius.

Mrs. Palin’s tour bus arrives at Grand Rapids, MI, for her first book-signing appearance. Enlarge the picture to enjoy its full impact.

Finish this sentence:

“I’m carrying Trig because ——————————————.”

Again, I am offering the Dead Sweater to the winner. It is size small. (Honeypants won it in the Guess Which Shopbop Girl contest, but since she is busty, she gets some fabulous vintage jewelry from the Sister Wolf’s Hoarded Fashion Collection™ )

This is the prize:

This Shopbop girl has been bothering me for ages. Why does she always have to jut her head forward like this? Who tells her to do it? Or is it her trademark or something? Waaah, make it stop!

Now, this Shopbop girl really kills me. She’s just so awful! The horrible asymmetrical hairdo, the aggressive facial expression and the weird body-language. I totally hate her! Why is she there? I think of her as The Goony Bird Girl but I’m open to a new name for her if you’ve got one.

Now! Here’s a good contest. Even though I still haven’t announced the 2 winners of the Name the Baby Contest, I do have the prizes ready. (Say hello to Hazel here.)  For this new contest, the prize will be the Dead Sweater by Lucky Jeans. It’s a size small.

Okay:  Find the Shopbop girl I would like to be if I could be a Shopbop Girl. Hint: Think “slutty.”