Godammit, I’m Mad!

Which one do you want more?

or

Smile Makers are sex toys with a cutesy design and a “playful” concept: they are named after different male stereotypes, kind of like the Village People.

I don’t know much about sex toys and that’s the way I like it.  But I love internet generators. Smile Makers lets you design your fantasy man, and with only a limited set of options I still came up with a very nice facsimile of my personal dreamboat.  His name is Fernando, and he’s all mine. You can make your own here.

I’m disappointed in the choice of masculine archetypes, since I have no interest in tennis coaches or millionaires.  (I did have an adorable French boyfriend, back in the day, but he became hysterical when I got my period.) Where is the Poet, the Biker, the Revolutionary, the Pimp, the Grad Student?

Go make your own loverboy and let me know how it goes.

Here are the new houseboys for spring. Even if you’ve already done your spring cleaning, there is always more work to be done.

I like a  houseboy  who is sensitive but slightly feral.   Strong enough to move furniture but delicate in his facial features.

A good houseboy is comfortable enough in his masculinity to wear a veil or sarong or even high heels if necessary. It doesn’t hurt if he looks like Jimi Hendrix.

I don’t know all of their names, because names are just a distraction.

Do you see anything you like?

Look at this nice person I met at the mall today! I asked him about his sit-ups and whether he did a lot of crunches. But he was too nice to talk about his work-out regime.

All he wanted to do was to pull me close and put his  chiseled  arm around me.

I was going to take my shirt off too, but it all happened so fast.

Later I bought a Chanel nail polish and a red chiffon prom dress. but who cares, you know? It’s really all about connecting with nice male models people.

This is Dimitri Alexandrou.   Some of you prefer more rugged, masculine houseboys, so help yourself to the new candidates.

Here’s a hunk of tattooed burning love. Don’t know his name, don’t care. He’ll need to keep his hands off my earrings.

Sylvain Norget looks like he means business.   I can imagine him with a vacuum cleaner. I like it.

Daniel is a model and not really my type. But when I look into his eyes, I see him serving drinks and fluffing pillows.

What about this guy? Long hair to play with but enough manly pride to fold laundry with  military  precision.

Shah Rukh Khan is an Indian movie star ( I think) but I would like to see him lounging around after washing my hair.

I can’t resist a man in a dress. This may actually be my ideal houseboy. He doesn’t look judgemental: a plus!

Houseboy Sasha Marini is kind of sickening on the one hand, yet one might enjoy a scuffle with him as you try to get him to shave. I don’t know. Your call.

Now we’re talking. Francis Lane is the exact combination of youth and androgynous beauty that my house needs. I’d like to see him wearing  embroidered  satin slippers as he sweeps away the dog hair. I would even get him a feather duster!

Let me know if you found anything you like.

I don’t know where you live, but Los Angeles is hot and sweaty in August. I need a Houseboy to fan me while I sip a cold drink. Jo Dong Hyuk looks like a highly accomplished Houseboy, don’t you think?

But look at Greg Kheel.

Greg seems like a versatile Houseboy who wouldn’t mind dressing up if the situation demands. In fact, I would be happy to let him raid my closet when he’s done with his chores.

Finally, there’s Renato Ferreira.

He’s young, sure, but I think he would bring a spirituality to his tasks. He can even wear the necklace if it  doesn’t  get in the way.

See anything you like?

*If you know of any worthy houseboys of this caliber, feel free to submit pictures to sisterwolf666@gmail.com and I can include  them  with  the next batch.

I’ve tried to include Houseboys for all tastes but in fact they are all my favorites for this week. They can serve drinks and do odd jobs around the house, like fluff up your pillows.

Take your pick and have a relaxing weekend.   xo

Short hair, long hair, it’s all good.

Crazy hair, too.

Oh, fuck it. I really like long hair.

When we look for Houseboys, we are demanding, even though it’s hard to find good help and vice versa.

We look for a certain attitude first. Dominant but servile. Masculine but sensitive. Then we make sure he has strong legs, because he’ll be scurrying around all day, freshening our drinks and fluffing the pillows.

We ask him if he minds dressing up, because a good Houseboy is obedient but also playful.

Finally, we make sure we can take him out on social occasions. That’s about it. Oh wait, did I forget about cooking and cleaning? Those are good skills to have, but not as important and enthusiasm, multitasking and being a team player!