Category Archives: News

Let’s Take A Moment To Thank Brad And Angie

When I heard this morning that Brad and Angie are getting divorced, I was filled with a deep joy that spread through my being like one of Sting’s tantric orgasms, only better. Who among us has not been waiting for … Continue reading

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Is Everyone Insane?

Can we just admit that Trump is ruining our lives? Every day, every hour, it’s non-stop Trump. It’s killing me, but I can’t stop looking for new lies to flip out about, new insults to our intelligence, new interviews with … Continue reading

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News, Rants | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Mother Theresa Was No Saint

I never liked Mother Theresa, despite her reputation as the embodiment of selfless compassion. She looked kind of sinister, and even smiling she exuded no warmth. I felt vindicated to learn that she had many critics. Aroup Chatterjee, a doctor … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrities, News, Rants, Religion | Tagged , | 5 Comments

MTV Awards 2016 Exegesis

It was a night of big thighs and vigorous twerking, with white “artists” scoring a perfect zero. Kanye provided the obligatory dis to Taylor Swift in a short but obnoxious tribute to himself. Taylor is a bad sport, so in … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Celebrities, News | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Apologies To Leslie Jones, Even Though I’m White

I want to apologize to Leslie Jones for the awfulness of people on the Internet. When she was abused on Twitter by a bunch of brain-damaged racist trolls led by some cunt from Breitbart, I was truly aghast at the … Continue reading

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If It Walks Like A Slut And It Quacks Like A Slut, It’s Melania!

Melania Trump is mad at The Daily Mail, Politico, and eight other news outlets for reporting that she once worked for an ‘escort agency.’ Her lawyer – the same one who represented Hulk Hogan in his lawsuit against Gawker media … Continue reading

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‘There Is Still A Role For Shame In Society.’

I am quoting Stuart Stevens, a former top strategist for Mitt Romney who has been expressing alarm about Donald Trump for months. Stevens was reacting to Trump’s attack on the Muslim American parents who spoke at the DNC about their … Continue reading

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Silver Linings: The Limited Edition DRAT Bag™

You know how people always want to find the silver lining of an awful situation, like “The Gift Of Cancer”? In that spirit, I’ve figured out how to make the most of the Disney World Alligator Tragedy, or DRAT for … Continue reading

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More Crap About The Gorilla

Maybe you’ve had more than enough of the gorilla story. If so, I fault your limited imagination. There is so much here! It’s a story so rich in metaphor and allegory and philosophical questions about parenthood, ethics, and humanity. Just … Continue reading

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Heil Melania!

Let’s take a break from the Donald and turn our attention to his glamorous wife, Frau Trump. If you missed Greta Von Susteren‘s probing interview with Melania Trump, you’re in for a treat! From the moment Greta asks if it’s … Continue reading

Posted in Horrible Stuff, News, Rants | Tagged , , | 9 Comments