Godammit, I’m Mad!

After a silly press conference in Cannes to promote his new film, Director Lars Von Trier has been officially banned from the film festival for his absurdist remarks about Hitler.

Reading his “10 most controversial statements” I think it should be clear to most grown ups that Von Trier was in a goofy mood and mildly attempting to be provocative.  There was no hint of genuine bigotry or antisemitism. He was just fucking around. He talked about making a hardcore porn film with Kirsten Durst and Charlotte Gainsbourg, blaming them for goading him into it.

I thought he was funny, not a funny as Bill Hicks but still funny. Unfortunately, now there is no room for humor about Hitler and that’s just sad. I loved hearing comedian Louis CK referring to Mrs. Palin as “Hitlering up the place.”

Listen, I’m no friend of Hitler, but neither is Lars Von Trier. It’s a shame that a genuinely original artist is being penalized for being offbeat and sarcsatic, while idiots in Cannes to promote the same old derivative crap are free to do so. I’d like to see his new film, as long as no one is castrated on-screen, like in Antichrist.

Read an enlightening interview with Von Trier here.  Read my other posts about him here and here.

Godammit, I told you so!.

I can’t stand Arnold and I have never figured out why people believe he is anything other than a big stupid moron. The myth that Arnold is “actually very smart” is just preposterous! Fuck!

Way back in another lifetime, I lifted weights in the gym where Arnold worked out every morning. He was a loudmouthed bully who had a coterie of middle aged halfwits that followed him around and laughed at his stupid jokes. Arnold was an arrogant cunt who bothered women with comments like “I’d like to see you with your panties off!”

He’s what my mom would call a “lowlife.” We’ll never know why Maria Shriver married him and thus gave him a legitimacy that led to his political career, which in turn has left California in fiscal shambles.

Maybe the Kennedy women have a deep-seated need to be humiliated by powerful men. Whatever. I feel bad for Maria and her children, but WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE THINKING?!?

Thoughts, rants, crap about how “personal lives are nobody’s business?”

I’m looking forward to V Magazine’s “Asian Issue,” available May 12. Ten per cent of the proceeds will go to help Japan, so you can feel virtuous while admiring a group of stunning Asian models.

But is it racist to admire Asian Models? Should we view and/or judge them individually? Are we divesting these models of their individuality when we lump them together as Asian? And what about the fact of their nationality? Korea, Japan, China, etc are different countries with different cultures. I wonder how I’d feel about a “Jewish Issue,” even though I know it’s not the same thing.

I love several Asian models: Shu Pei, Ming Xi, Du Juan, Liu Wen, and Sui He, just to name a few. They are breathtakingly beautiful! I have blogged about beautiful Asian men, and here’s another one, Paolo Roldan.

I am even willing to say that generally speaking, a beautiful Asian face is more compelling to me than a beautiful  ”White” face.

Thoughts, complaints or insults?

Victoria Beckham chose to look like a pony for the Royal wedding because ____________.

I was so touched and delighted when “Sam” suggested that my readers could take over some of my worries for me while I tend to my PTSD. The three big-ticket worries I mentioned were Libya, Mrs. Palin, and fashion.

So I’d like to hand over these worries on a volunteer basis. Just pick the one you feel most suited or inclined to worry about!  Here they are, in no order:

Libya

Mrs. Palin

The Tea Party

Obama’s ineptitude

Fashion trends

Nuclear catastrophe

Celebrity break-ups

Blogger business deals

Tavi developments

Afghanistan

Corporate crime

The economy

Sea of Shoes

Healthcare

I plan to continue worrying about hair and hair products, cosmetic surgery, language issues, cunts and COTW, and minor pop culture irritants. That’s all I can handle until further notice.

Okay, Thank you in advance for your kindness and generosity. Once you have chosen a Worry to be responsible for, just do your best. If you can’t fulfill your obligation and have to step down, it will go to the Alternate Candidate for that category.

xoxoxo

“Today marks the official launch of TheFix.com, a new content site aimed at recovering drug and alcohol users.”

I read that and imagined a nice scholarly-looking website filled with information and resources, like the sites about autism or migraines. Instead, it’s a garish tabloid-like bonanza of stupid features like “Worst Celebrity Meltdown” and “Hollywood’s Best Addict Performances.”

Courtney Love is one of the experts on hand to give advice, and there are articles on finding the perfect AA meeting and dating a crackhead.  There is even a BIG photo of a syringe in an arm, to illustrate a story about vaccines. Are they insane? The whole thing looks like a great parody except for its breathtaking witlessness.

Please have a look and get back to me. Tell me your theory on how they got the seed money for this venture and what kind of advertisers will want to get in on this.

Meanwhile, they invite submissions and story ideas! I could never be part of such a shabby enterprise, especially knowing what I do about the horrors of drug addiction. But wouldn’t it be fun to propose some idiotic stories just to see if they bite? How about “Funniest excuse for for a relapse” or “How to flirt with an ER doctor?”

Fuckers.

I don’t know where I’d be without it.  I found this here.

And you can still find me here.

Did Daphne Guinness call Victoria Beckham an Ugly Pig or not, that is the question.  And what a welcome distraction! I needed to cleanse my brain’s palate, between world crises, and the Daphne-Posh imbroglio is the perfect sorbet.

When you read Daphne’s denial of the stuff she swears she didn’t say, you know she’s furious. And you know she’s lying to save face, after recklessly shooting her mouth off to a reporter, who she then calls “Brutus!” According to her tweets, Daphne feels betrayed: She trusted the reporter not to make her look like a bitch.

I think Daphne is over-reacting. Who among us has not called Victoria Beckham an ugly pig at one time or another, or at least Pigface?  I’m sure Vickie is used to this kind of thing. I personally love her but I know I’ve made fun of her, too.

Maybe Daphne shouldn’t have complained that Victoria has a financial backer, pointing out to the reporter Brutus that  she pays for her own fashion creations with her own money. Since Daphne paid $15 million for her New York apartment, I think she should keep quiet about money but that’s just me.

Daphne, I know you’re reading this. Don’t be mad. I’m on your side. Sort of. I don’t like when you talk about killing yourself. I used to use that expression all the time too, but I’ve reconsidered. Or putting it another way, I wouldn’t use the expression so wantonly. I know you’re fragile and all that, but your’e a grown-ass women, as they say on the Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Start acting like one!

Now, who thinks that Brutus MADE UP Daphne’s comments in the Sunday Times? I’d like to hear from you.

Who thinks Daphne said those things, but Brutus should have known it was off the record?

How many Ugly Pigs are there in this story, including me?

Finally, who plans to follow Daphne on Twitter?

Isn’t is weird to see people going on about their business while a disaster devastates one part of the world and a ruthless massacre takes place somewhere else? If you follow twitter, the incongruous tweets illustrate how most people go right on advancing their agendas and talking about what they’re wearing or what they ate, NO MATTER WHAT.

I know that humans are wired like this, wired for adaptation to nearly any circumstances. Instead of celebrating this feature of humanity, I’ve always found it incredibly sad. People survive wars, torture, earthquakes, amputations, every kind of loss. They learn to absorb these tragedies and and for the most past, we expect them to return to “normal.”

Even if we can’t go to Japan to help out, should we shrug it off and go right back to slobbering over shoes or worrying about our Klout scores?

I feel guilty, sad, angry, confused, and conflicted.

In my own life, I can’t move on and get back to business. It feels like a sin to even consider it. Resilience seems like a cruel joke.  But that’s what survival is about.

I wish resilience for the people of of Japan, but less resilience for the people of twitter and elsewhere, who haven’t even missed a beat in the rhythm of their daily bullshit.

Thoughts or advice?

My key impression of the Hermes Fall 2011 photos was : This shit is for rich people who want you to know it. The outfits scream. “Fuck you! I have money!”

Other designers also reek of big money but at least it’s money with creativity or daring of some kind. The Hermes woman must be determined to remind us that she is upper class and super-wealthy.

I was pleased to find my impression supported by an article about Hermes and its dread of being available to the masses like that crass Louis Vuitton.

The Hermes family is militantly opposed to being controlled by LVMH, which now owns 17% of the company.

“There is a part of our world that is playing on abundance, on glitz and glamour,” Patrick Thomas, the Hermès’s chief executive, said during an interview the week before Mr. Galliano was fired. “And there is another part that is concentrated on refinement, and basically making beautiful objects.”

God forbid that Hermes ever make an affordable line of handbags. It would be the end of Hermes, Mr. Thomas declares. “It’s not a financial fight, because we would lose that. It’s a cultural fight.”

It seems particularly obnoxious, given the state of the world today, for this kind of class conflict among luxury brands. I’m beginning to hate the rich more than I used to. They don’t want to be taxed, they don’t want anyone to afford their stupid handbags, but they have nothing to offer us as a culture or society.

Fuckers. I hope Berhard Arnault takes over Hermes. “Refinement” is just elitism in their definition, and it’s time for the super rich to be ashamed of their extravagance.  Let them not eat cake.