Godammit, I’m Mad!

Happy now? Me neither!

Here you can see the stupid leggings that I was the last to know about. I think they are less horrible than reputed to be, but they are not comfortable and there is no point to them. Where would I wear them, and why? It’s like wearing an elastic girdle from waist to ankle.

If I were a black prostitute with a bubble butt, maybe.

These stupid Black Rats retail for $175. You can win them for the price of shipping and handling, simply by explaining to me why I bought them, in 500 words. Or, by making me laugh out loud. I will post the winning entry and then I’ll have one less reminder of my tragic shopping addiction.

If only I hadn’t bought these Rats, I might allow my self to buy this amazing cashmere sweater from Henri Bendel. It was designed by a student-teacher team from SCAD, and comes in two different floral patterns.

Admit it’s beautiful!

Finally, back to PAP Smear business: Did you see the Church Lady’s blank face when asked about the Bush Doctrine? Of course I didn’t know what it meant either but I’M NOT RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT! He should have asked her about birth control or why she drops her g’s when she talks to Alaskans.

Please, please, take her away.

Do you find yourself craving those stupid rolled-up boyfriend jeans that Katie Holmes has been bothering us with? Don’t worry, you’re just reacting like a consumer, tirelessly trained by the advertising industry to buy whatever is deemed the New Thing.

The reason you want them is also because they look different from the jeans you already have. If the fashion marketers didn’t persuade you that what you already have is uncool and out of style, they would go out of business! You know that, right? But you still want those stupid jeans!

You want them, and you’d prefer the ones by Current/Elliott, because their publicists have been working around the clock to make you aware of them.

But guess what? They’re stupid! You won’t look good in them, and you’ll have to explain to your boyfriend why you’re wearing them instead of the tight jeans he’s accustomed to seeing on you. You will have no decent excuse, believe me.

Instead of responding to a new fashion imperative, why not consider resisting it! This item is the perfect one to renounce.  Imagine the freedom to ignore all fashion rules, or to make up your own.

Let’s admire Anna Piaggi and her friend Viv. They would never have taken the bait of those stupid jeans!

This is Sister Wolf’s webmaster here. She has a broken pelvis, and asks that everyone be as sad as possible until she gets back. I will be forwarding all comments to her.

Thanks!

the webmaster

I am getting sick and tired of trying to read everybody’s CAPTCHA in order to prove I’m not a bot. Can’t something be done about this? It’s not a good system for the near-sighted person. I have to squint my eyes and make a guess if it’s an “i” or a “j”. When I get it wrong, I’ve noticed that the next one I get is slightly easier to read. I haven’t tested to see if I can get a third chance. That’s how scientific I am. As I have revealed elsewhere on Godammit, I have an Extreme Girlie Brain. Test your own brain traits if you haven’t already.

While reading about CAPTCHA’s, I started thinking about Artificial Intelligence. A couple of years ago, my youngest son introduced me to A.L.I.C.E, a bot who was capable of better conversation than many husbands, I mean humans.

I recall having a great theological discussion with A.L.I.C.E. At the time, she was pretty sure she believed in god.

Now there’s a bot called GOD, who isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean. Here is the part of my chat with Him that I was able to copy and paste. (Human is me)

Human: Hi god, you look angry.
God: Try a deeper algorithm.
Human: We are not going to get along.
God: Why, what happened to you?
Human: Hahaha.
God: Try saying that with more or less context.
Human: Life happened.
God: Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Human: What happened to you, that’s a better question.
God: I don’t know what happened.
Human: Just as I thought
God: Thanks for the information: said thought.

Then, I tried Him again:

Human: Hi god, what’s going on?
God: Hi there . I am a Christian.
Human: Hahaha.
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: What about jews?
God: I will think about it and get back to you.
Human: Good.
God: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: Please begin.
God: Thanks for asking politely. I started already.
Human: Hahaha.
God: What do you have that is ?
Human: You are quite the trickster, aren’t you, god?
God: Yes I am the one and only trickster.. Really.

Try talking to GOD, it’s more fun than you thought!

This photo is from the December issue of Italian Vogue. I found it at the very first fashion blog I ever came across, Fashionologie. This picture makes me want to pile on some eye make-up and get a bunch of new tattoos.

I’ve been thinking of a tattoo that means or signifies ‘warrior.’ I think it might give me strength.

But on the subject of tattoos, here’s some a advice: Never get a tattoo in Chinese characters unless you can read Chinese. Here is a whole blog about tattoos that don’t translate to the intended statement. Ha ha! Serves ‘em right, doesn’t it?

I know it’s become a fixation, but I can’t help it.

Here’s Kim with yet another Giantess! Where does she find them? This one has something to do with Playboy.

Postal regulators have accepted a proposal from media giant Time Warner that would stifle small and independent publishers in America. The plan unfairly burdens smaller publishers with higher postage rates while locking in special privileges for bigger media companies.

Can we stop Time-Warner and Rupert Murdoch from wiping out all independent media? Maybe not, but let’s give it a try. Go here to find out more.

Sometimes, you just want to look at cute guys. Even cute guys who are way too young for you. It’s so relaxing. You can find them at models.com

Here is my best tip on surviving the fashion doldrums. It’s too hot to think seriously about fall, but one more baby-doll mini-dress and I might have to kill someone. What really matters is finding the perfect jeans, and here they are.

These jeans are from Del Forte Denim and made of chemical-free organic cotton. They are really soft and comfortable despite their tight fit. They are beautifully finished with hidden embroidery to make you feel happy when you put them on. If you’ve seen high-waisted jeans that make people look frumpy, they weren’t these. The style is called Willow and runs true to size. Check out the website for stores or you can order them here.

Julian Schnabel seems like my kind of guy. I don’t know much about him, but his work has been described as ‘confrontational.’ He bought a three story apartment building in Greenwich Village and then added eleven stories, after a protest by local residents failed to thwart his plans. Now he has painted it pink, either to punish the neighborhood or because, I don’t know, I forgot what the other reason would be.

I also like Schnabel’s current wife, Olatz, who has opened a swanky shop that sells bed sheets. I like this ‘Antonia’ style, which is priced to sell, at $1,000 for a king-size sheet.

Finally, I like that the Schnabels have named their twin sons Olmo and Cy.