Godammit, I’m Mad!

I was thrilled to hear that Tallulah Willis (middle, above) was  chosen to attend the prestigious Debutantes Ball  at the Crillon Hotel on Paris’ Place de la Concorde.

At just 17 years old, Tallulah is one of the youngest of the 23 girls making their debut last night.  Just look at her jewel-encrusted Lanvin gown, created especially for her by designer Alber Elbaz, who she described as “a very dear friend.”

Rumer competes for attention in a breathtakingly low-cut dress that craftily draws the eye downward to her bared breasts. Determined to make a splash in her own right, Scout died her naturally brunette hair for the occasion, achieving the perfect shade of bright yellow.

I can’t wait for more photos of the event, but I knew you’d be dying to get an early look at the splendor of these wonderful girls!

This Viktor & Rolf shirtdress is a total fiasco.

On the other hand, I like how it manages to evoke both a nurse AND a mental patient.

The perfect accessory: a thermometer.

$1,125 at Shopbop.

What fashionese gibberish would you use to describe this dress?

This skirt makes me  want to __________________________.

Genetic Denim,  $220 at Shopbop.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Nothing, until you find out it’s a one-piece “romper.”

Isn’t that just inexplicably horrible?!

I’m not sure why it’s so horrible, but the first thing that comes to mind for some reason is the problem of getting undressed with a lover.  The shock, the confusion….IT’S ONE PIECE! Eooowwwww.

And you can’t even pull up the saggy jeans with a belt. It just creeps me out.

If you’re creeped out too, can you explain why?

Here is Erin Wasson enjoying the triumph of her awful fashion show. How can you even calculate the horror? Begin with the hat, I guess, and work your way down.

These sweatpants are like a little piece of Erin Wasson….a soupcon of Erin Wasson. They simply offend on every level. The exciting thing about them is that they’re unflattering from every view. $75 at Revolve.

Sea of  Shoes continues her reign of terror by designing a coat for Gryphon, a perfectly nice fashion line until now. Without ever meeting in person, Sea was able to transmit her design for the hideous coat she is modeling in this photo. Note the awkward bell sleeves and icky attached pouch.  If that’s not enough for you, Sea and Mom have SIGNED A BOOK DEAL!  Isn’t that fabulous?!?

Sea won’t publish your comments, you stupid peons, but you can leave them here.  I’ll go first.

Wow, awful coat, way to go! OMG, I heard about your book deal and asked myself, Where’s my book deal??  I wish I had an angle, like millions of shoes or a weird thing with my mom! Love, SW

Okay, you thought you’d seen everything after those horrible muffin-jeans, but check out the Sneaker Jeans, again from our visionary friends at Karmaloop. Laces, grommets AND zippers!

WHY?

When Carine Roitfeld looks this awful, I can only feel great! I’m pretty sure we’re the same age, and I’m sick of being envious. You go and look wrinkly, Carine! And wear more stupid get-ups like this one!

(Nope, it’s not Halloween in this picture, it’s an art opening in NYC “curated” by her son Vladimer.)

Here is an awful stupid top with a horse on it, for $55 at Revolve Clothing.

If you prefer spending the big bucks on something awful and stupid, Stella McCartney nails it with this knit dress, at her online shop for $1,145.

* Do you hate to hear “price-point?” Me too! I was being ironic.