What the hell are “Fashion Jews?” Amy Odell is losing it over at The Cut.
The Cut is a HUGE blog. How can this headline still be up after it appeared this morning?! What next, Fashion Blacks? Or is it just a Jew Thing… like Sports Jews, Business Jews, Art Jews? I guess when I go to Starbucks, I’m a Coffee Jew.
I’ll bet you anything, by tomorrow someone will be selling t-shirts that say “Fashion Jew.” I want one!
They forget the monkey fur, but otherwise, perfect, don’t you think?
Refinery 29 just launched a Los Angeles-based blog and here is part of today’s post about redheads, written by the editor:
Maybe all the brunettes are lightening up for summer or maybe there’s something appealing about standing out in the So-Cal sea of blonde-and-bronze, but we think this is a hair trend that’s catching on like, well, wild fire. So, when we saw this insanely beautiful new fashion shoot (sent to us by our dear friend, Hamish), we nearly flipped our lid. The editorial, shot in London by expert lens-woman, Kate Cox, captures the photographer’s redheaded friends, and somehow has a totally hippie-esque L.A.-in-the-’70s-vibe to it. We’ve included a few of Kate’s red-hot shots and asked a local go-to hue aficionado to shed some light on how to keep your scarlet locks looking good if you should opt for red trademark tresses—and, trend alert!—you def should!
A local go-to hue aficionado?! Lens-woman?! Scarlet locks?!
Is this why I can’t get a new writing job? Why don’t I just kill myself!
If anyone can write a worse paragraph about redheads, I will devote a post to your literary genius.
Tonight I can truthfully say that I’m sick of everything. Or rather, the same old everything.
I need something new to look at and fixate on.
I can’t take any more dumb idiots, dumb whores or dumb dummies. No more It girls or would-be It Girls. I need images and I need things to stimulate my imagination. I need things to hlep my brain work. I need things to hate but different things.
Here’s Martin Cohn, a boy who looks like a girl.
Here’s Gemma Banks, a girl who looks like a boy.
I realize that pictures of androgenous people are the only things I can stand to look at right now. I can’t figure out why, but I find them very relaxing. Male models and homo’s. too. I’m deliberately using the word homo because a blog called Homo-something is about homo’s and the word “gay” now sounds condescending to me. If you’re a homo and you object, let me know.
Here’s another girl who looks like a boy.
See? Isn’t that more relaxing than looking at what some moron wore today? I found it at a blog with lots of nice images, whose author is either a boy or girl, I can’t tell from looking at him/her. You go, girl, or boy!
Oops, I found this there, too, so it’s not all androgeny there but also weirdness and some pervy stuff. That blog sent me to this one... where I liked this beautiful Asian-looking girl, or at least I assume it’s a girl.
There are some great images there and no one bothering you with their outfits or their Mom.
Okay, that’s it. Who has some recommendations for me? Websites, books, music, anything to break the frozen sea within?
Okay, it’s time to get serious. After reading a new interview with Sea here, and then having a look at her “other” blog, I see there is something going on. Upon deliberating, I think I have cracked the code.
Sea of Shoes is actually code for SOS! It is a cri de coeur from Jane, begging the world to deliver her from her demons.
I hear you, Jane! In the interview, she is asked to describe herself in 3 words. She answers: “Dirty old man.” Oh my! Elsewhere, in response to the question, “Tell me something most people wouldn’t know about you,” she says, “I’m a big sicko.”
OKAY, I GET IT. You’re a dark soul with fetishes aplenty, or you’re a lesbian. This is why your latest entry at your “other” blog is a naked woman displaying her anus. It explains the emphasis on tits and ass. Instead of dropping hints, it might be better to just integrate your dark, lesbitious side into your everyday life and to feel okay with it.
Jane doesn’t want your comments but you can leave them here instead. I will go first:
Dear Sea, Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Just be ashamed of buying all those shoes. Love, SW
Not too long ago, I applied for a job at the Refinery 29 blog. They offered me an interview but the job turned out to be in New York. Reading the following post, I realize that I couldn’t write such awful prose even with a gun to my head. It is simply beyond my capability. Ready, set, go:
We’re no newbies to fake tattoos, though it’s safe to say that the glittery unicorns and branded stick-ons from the local bank we used to apply don’t really garner us the same cred as the ones shown on this season’s runway. Delicate bracelets and chains were drawn onto the models at SChanel, and Gaultier paired his spring line with lettered prison tats. Rodarte went for the full monty and Sharpie’d the models’ arms and necks in full Maori effect. Less permanent than really getting pricked, but still pretty badass, we have a feeling that a little hand-drawn ink will start making its way off the runway and onto your arms, chests, and legs.
Jesus, whew!
Maybe my ears are too sensitive, but this just seems aggressively bad in every way: it’s pretentious, hokey, cutesy and irritating. Is it standard fashion writing, or is it setting a new standard?
Who wants to count the language crimes? I’ll start with the first sentence. “Garner”, “newbies” and “cred” are all unforgivable. For extra credit, try making it even worse, if that’s possible!
Nah, just kidding.
They don’t know me and I don’t know them. I have never looked at the Satorialist or any other blog that shows people on the street. I don’t want to know about Twitter. But I do spend time looking at blogs, and writing this one.
I would like to pose a question to everyone who is reading this:
What do you want a blog to deliver?
I asked myself this question, more broadly: What am I seeking on the Internet?
I want to be distracted, informed, entertained, amused, enraged, or inspired. I guess I want that all the time, online or off. But looking at what someone wore today, or what they plan to wear tomorrow, is not working for me. I really don’t give a shit, just like no one should give a shit about what I’m wearing.
I love fashion but I don’t love to see people posing in their clothes. Call me crazy. I wish I could find more blogs that fascinate or stimulate some brain activity. I want some wit, some ideas, some raw emotion, some aggression (not aimed at me though, Russian Lady!) I want to see shoes, but not if I have to hear how Smitten you are by them!
Meanwhile, I love nothing more than to engage in conversation with my readers, friends and enemies.
What draws you here, and to other blogs?
Those are the exact words I said aloud while laughing at my new blog a minute ago. It wasn’t an evil laugh, but a laugh of pure joy at my own cuntishness. An acquaintance once described me as “vulnerable, with an edge.” I was flattered at the time. Now it might be more accurate to say, “A cunt, with a heart.” How would that be on a gravestone?
Anyway, here is my Tribute Blog. It is dedicated to my very special fan, The Crazy Muffin Woman. I need to figure out how to remove my Sister Wolf photo without having to change my google profile thing. Who can help a Sister out?
The photo of Megan Fox as Mother Theresa is how I like to think of myself. It’s such a ravishing image, isn’t it? It’s the kindness that so reminds me of me.
However, when you’re feeling bad about yourself, and you need a lift, you can feel better just by looking at images like this:
Go ahead, click on them! If god didn’t want you to take comfort in Priscilla and Lisa Marie and Donatella and Woody and Soon Ji, He wouldn’t have created them for us!
There I was, minding my own business, and by that I mean I was trying to research a disorder called somatoparaphrenia, when I came across a blog called Transabled.org.
It’s like a mini-mother lode for anyone who’s ever been curious about Body Integrity Identity Disorder. You know, the one where people feel that they can’t be happy unless they have a limb amputated. You have to love it. I actually saw a documentary about it, featuring several British guys with BIID. The Britishness was an excellent counterpoint to the disorder: It was like a surreal Monty Python sketch.
Anyway, over at this blog, there is a discussion about the disabled community’s ‘ableism’ in refusing to acknowledge the transabled as deserving of sympathy. Since ‘transabled’ is defined in the blog as ‘wanting to be disabled,’ you can see the problem.
I love disorders! Somatoparaphrenia is the delusion that one of your limbs belongs to someone else, like your doctor or even a stranger. It could be useful, like if you punch someone in the face you could blame your doctor! Or in my case, I could tell my husband that my new tattoo (which he hates) is actually on the wrist of someone we don’t even know!
I’ll try this when he gets home.
