Godammit, I’m Mad!

For the last few days, I’ve had the feeling that there’s nothing interesting on the Internet. Anywhere. For me, as an addict, this is pretty scary. How much fashion, YouTube, politics or gossip can anyone stand? How many weird medical disorders, conjoined twins, opinions, rants or Wikipedia entries can anyone absorb? It’s all bullshit.

On that note, here is a quiz to test your knowledge of pop culture. I’m going to make it up as I go along. Remember that the more questions you can answer correctly, the more you should probably just kill yourself.

No cheating!

1.  Madonna may be upset, but ——- “is her rock.”

2. Which young celebrity/drug addict is NOT a lesbian.

3. Who is her lesbian girlfriend’s famous brother?

4. How long did Angie breastfeed the twins?

5. What sickening actor likes to be pictured without his shirt on?

6. Who is Jessica Simpson dating?

7. What is Beyonce’s new alter ego called?

8. Name Gwen Stefani’s two sons.

8. Name her husband’s teenage daughter.

9. Tom Cruise is —.

10. What is a ‘tweaker?’

11. Donatella’s daughter suffers from ——–.

12. Leonardo is dating ___ ______ because he likes ——.

How did you make out? 12 out of 12=tragic. 8-11=sad. 6-10=average student of pop culture. 1-5=great job, keep it up! 0=cheater!

* I’m not giving answers, because you know if you know them. If you don’t know an answer, give yourself a nice pat on the back, you’re better off.

Kate Hudson has pulled off a brilliant publicity stunt by pretending to be pregnant and then unveiling her body in a skimpy thong-style bikini. Her pristine white butt has appeared on every celebrity gossip site, photographed from every possible angle.

After weeks of parading around in big baggy dresses, she made sure that her butt would receive all the attention of an urgent breaking news story.

I will admit that her butt is beyond compare, except to the butt of a ten year old albino gymnast. Good for you, Kate! Now, if only your butt could act, you’d be making the big bucks like Reese Witherspoon!