Godammit, I’m Mad!

I love the shopping site Farfetch as much as the next man, but I was not happy with today’s feature, a lesson on How to Wear Double Denim.

First of all, I don’t want the term “double denim.” Take it away! Who made it up, anyway? Is it The Gap? WendyB discussed the wearing of double denim a few weeks ago. Most of her readers seemed to feel, Yes, I’m into it.  I personally didn’t like the examples she showed but then I forgot about it. Now I see it’s a bona fide fashion Problem.

If you need to ask how to wear double denim, you should just give up. Don’t wear anything. Stay home in bed. How hard is wearing denim for fuck sake?!

Farfetch shows us three ways to “pull if off.” This is perilously close to “getting it right.” It’s so dogmatic! Who is to decide whether you pulled it off, besides the Satorialist?

The looks devised by Farfetched seem completely arbitrary but they are given categories, because People like categories. There is Tough, Pale and Preppy. Preppy is a silly Tom Sawyer costume, Pale is kind of Pseudo French Girl, and Tough is sexy because it’s modeled by Abby Lee Kershaw, a young goddess. There are all sorts of bossy rules involved in each look.

Now I’m feeling really bad about double denim. I don’t think I normally wear jeans with anything else denim, but whatever, it’s dead to me now.

HOWEVER! I just went to Macy’s to get my kid a shirt and in the men’s department they had skin tight skinny cut Levi’s in bright colors like turquoise and red, for only $59. I would wear red Levi’s with a denim jacket. But not now. I’m too stubborn, and I don’t have $59.