This is the work of (IN)DECOROUS TASTE, who I just discovered thanks to my twisted sister, Mary.
Look at the spikes inside the acrylic platform!
If this shit isn’t insanely fierce and killing it, I don’t know what is.
Sea has taken a brief respite from shoe curating but the posing and self-adoration continue unabated, like the tides.
Sea acquired an ugly cockroach necklace in an effort to establish her quirkiness, and she heaped on the black eye liner for a Clueless Goth™ effect. She and Mom snagged a lame python jacket after a harrowing close call with not snagging it! Whew! Thank god it all worked out.
Most noteworthy is the garbled language skills that Sea has been curating! Here is her observation about her taste in interior design:
“I guess the baroque-psychedelia of Foster’s Home has my eye trained on the more whimsical touches of the mansions from the Gilded era. I got this book at Dolly Python yesterday and love to see l that so many of these suffocatingly extravagant rooms have touches of candy colors like mint green, bubblegum pink, and robin’s egg blue.”
Hahahaha! “Suffocatingly extravagant?!?” Suffering succotash! That sounds like a description of her own living room!
Okay, you know the drill. I’ll go first:
Dear Sea, You’ll never believe this but I have the same black sweater from Lucky Jeans so we’re almost twins! Do you ever wonder what you would think about if you weren’t wealthy? Did you know that most women have a deep-seated dread of being like their mom? I like how you defy this fear by trying to look like a thirty-something divorcee circa 1980. If you need more cockroaches, let me recommend my kitchen! Love, SW
A thoughtful reader named “A” had an uncanny hunch that I would appreciate a blogger who I’ve just named The Thigh Girl. I don’t know what her deal is, but it doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to see that she LOVES her thighs.
She has every reason to love her thighs. They are shapely and firm looking, and free of unsightly hair. But what does she want from us, a Thigh Award? In every outfit post, she offers at least 10 photos of the same outfit, with little variation in her facial expression, which I will have to call Pensive.
I can’t bring my self to read her commentary about her outfits but I did click on her “about” thing. She tells us in no uncertain terms that her hair is naturally red, godammit, and she’s never died it. Take that! Wait, maybe she’s speaking directly to Sea!!!!!
In any case, it is a thigh-driven blog and as such might be just the thing for people who are sick and tired of Roomi.
Several people have taken it upon themselves to chide me for stooping to mockery in my time of grief. They can complain all they want, but I need to keep my mind from wandering to a place of bottomless despair. I will stay in denial as long as possible. Maybe longer.
If you know any stupid whores with blogs, now is a good time to share them with me! THX
(identities concealed to protect the guilty)
Kim { 06.21.10 at 11:22 AM }
I’ve followed your blog for ages now. and just when I thought you couldn’t get any cooler, your husband is a taxidermist! Get out of my head already! I love taxidermy so fucking much. How did your husband get into it?
Please forgive me Jesus, I can’t stop myself without Your help!
First, I was upset to see these $595 boots ( or rather, “kicks”) that have gotten so much press. Why does this poor girl need to spend so much on, let me quote here, “…my first piece of Alex Wang.” “Alex??” Is that like someone buying the knock-off version by “Jeff” Campbell?
But then I am referred to an online magazine where the girl is featured in an interview and replying to the question, “What was the last thing you’ve bought?” the poor girl answers:
“A crew neck t-shirt from Obesity and Speed with ‘Choose Death’ printed on it. Can’t go wrong with that!”
Aaaah. Help me, help me, Jesus. Give me the courage, the wisdom, the serenity prayer, anything. The brand names, the goth cluelessness, no no no, take it away. Or help the poor girl to wise up.
A few people have cited a certain blogger as someone who would annoy me, so tonight I checked her out. The thing that struck me most was her hideous collection of claw-themed jewelry.
Why the fucking claws?! (Somehow I feel this question woud sound more beautiful and heartfelt in French but I don’t speak French. Can anyone help translate??)
Now that skull imagery is somewhat passe, the trend has moved to animal skulls. If I see another fucking brass bird-skull necklace, I’m going to strangle someone with it. Bird-skulls, huge claws, talons, just take them all away. Mom of Shoes has a monstrous claw pendent by the ubiquitous Pamela Love and so does every Clueless Goth Kid and tattooed fashion model a la Erin Wasson.
I was so annoyed by the claw-laden blogger that I went to etsy and typed “claw.” Try it! A huge volume of icky claw-things is available, many rivaling Mom’s $700 pendent in stark ugliness. I was particularly impressed by a store called Loved to Death, where I came across these “muskrat mandible” earrings.
And I realized that the blogger girl owns an identical pair!
What is the point in adorning yourself in stupid faux taxidermy? Why do so many people follow these trends? When can we go back to appreciating objects that are life-affirming rather than dead or faux-dead?
Here is the truth: Tonight, I just hate everything. Not so much hate, just don’t give a shit.
I want to be interested in something but nothing worked. I don’t give a shit about who wore what to the Met Gala. I certainly don’t give a shit about Lady Gaga or the Sex and the City movie. I’m too depressed by World Events to dwell upon them. I looked at fashion and felt that it’s being covered better elsewhere. I looked for new Whores With Blogs™ and discovered that Roomy has lost her bloom and the What Is Reality girl just flounces around with the Jizz Girls. It has all become so incestuous, lately!
A bunch of Second Tier Whores With Blogs™ have posted the usual mood boards and photos of Daul (“RIP!”,) Kate Moss, anyone who is blond and holding a cigarette. They’re all boasting about some stupid wedge heeled boots by Jeffrey Campbell or Sam Edelman ( I TOLD you they are Second Tier; they can’t afford Rick Owens or even Acne.)
The girl at Luxnoir is still chunky and in love with herself. The Dirty Flaws girl shows a photo of a weird chain gag in someone’s mouth with the title “Yes, Please!” I get that she’s Dirty but why do these girls need to work so hard to emphasize their Darkness? Why can’t they just get their entire bodies pierced and covered with cigarette burns and Sanskrit tattoos and get it over with? Gnarlitude is still Stoked by all the radness and Fuck Yeah-ing over everything.
Since I’ve wasted all this time, Let me introduce the Model/Whore above, who really really loves herself and seems like reason enough for Roomy to either blow her brains out or find a new direction entirely.
Sorry. I failed. Maybe tomorrow.
Today, I came upon this photo of Tragic Fashion Boy today on a fashion blog, with this caption:
“She has this androgynous petit gamin look that’s just fascinating. A good example of how the guests can really bring a designer’s vision to life at a fashion show.”
Oh dear! Is TFB pushing the petit gamin thing too far? Or is it a heinous lapse of cultural literacy on the part of the blogger, who should be able to identify TFB as easily as Leigh Lezark and Daphne Guiness?
On the bright side, when I showed this picture to my son’s girlfriend, she exclaimed, “Tragic Fashion Boy!” So my work is done.
A friend sent me a link to a woman who has a blog and documents what she wears every day. My friend ’s question was: “Why?!?”
God. I have no idea. Has everyone gone nuts? Who gives a shit what you wear every day, no matter who you are? I don’t even care what I wear every day, let alone some boring mom-woman.
I guess this mom-woman is the antidote to the Sartorialist. The whole spectacle of what people wear has reached a tipping point, in my opinion. Let’s start seeing everyone’s dental work or something.
I was honored to serve as the Los Angeles premiere* of Kate Battrick’s short film, “Dress Up,” this week. Kate is known to some of you as the author of Make Do Style.
Her film is a charming and ambitious look at celebrity, aspiration, fashion and status, told through the chance meeting of a young couple who misread each other’s expectations.
When Kate becomes a famous auteur, you can say you remember her start in film-making. Great job, Kate!
*Sweater from my Grandma, shoes from SWEAR London.
