Godammit, I’m Mad!

Remember Sruli Recht, the Israeli/Australian designer with a studio in Iceland?

His ready-to-wear menswear is now available online!

The sweater and shorts above are made from the wool of Icelandic sheep who “have been bred unmixed for 11 hundred years.”  Good to know.  But here’s more:

Garment description:

Fitted Single breasted Icelandic woolen-felt Jacket, draped as a sole rectangle, shaped with one dart running from the scapula through to the nape – draped entirely on a K&L 38 stand and on the body of a man named Emil in Reykjavik.

The shorts were also draped entirely on Emil’s legs. Not only that, but they’re lined in Japanese silk and cotton.  I would buy them just to feel close to Sruli.

Does anyone remember when I was obsessed with leather shorts?

That was another me who is long gone. But check out Yoko Ono wearing leather shorts at the Canne Film Festival! What an early-adopter she was.

It’s a relief to stop caring about the latest trends. The more fashion-conscious one is, the more anxiety one must contend with, and that is what generates billions of dollars for the fashion industry. The anxiety can only be relieved by shopping, and even then it’s a momentary relief. Every fashion layout or editorial is a trigger, causing new anxiety.

I have no idea of the new trends! Is it wide trousers or narrow or bright colors or patterns or tailored or retro or ladylike or boho or menswear-influenced? Are we still wearing studs? Are shoes still more important than handbags? Do the blogger girls still go on about Celine?

I think that at a certain point, we all know what we like to wear. People who insist that they love to “experiment” with fashion are just excusing themselves for needing to shop. But that’s okay with me.

I’ve traded my fashion-driven anxiety for a more fundamental anxiety about my body.  It’s much cheaper.  And all the time I once spent looking at fashion is now squandered on tumblr, a paralyzing addiction that has turned me into a vegetable.  At least it doesn’t involve my credit card.

I think it’s safe to say that the fashion and beauty industries are based on insecurity. They must constantly appeal to and promote our insecurity in order to satisfy their shareholders.  But my depression has suppressed my insecurity.  I think this is a benefit.

I’m hoping that Michelle Bachman and Mrs. Palin will provide some joy for me in the coming months, joy that for the moment is mostly supplied by the Real Housewives and the Casey Anthony murder trial. It’s a perverse joy that springs from the sheer staggering awfulness of horrible people exhibiting their horribleness.

Max used to love watching Sean Hannity on Fox news, and it drove me nuts. Now I remember the happy smirk on his face and I understand: When the usual things in life fail to bring pleasure, the theater of human stupidity is a valuable diversion.

Monastic minimalism from J. JS Lee for Fall 2011. You could add color to these elegant somber looks with the bright green suede boots we are  all waiting for.

And you can add the brand’s black leather satchel, for a chic masculine look with a hint of schoolgirl.

The older I get, the more I see the practicality of a stark, austere uniform to set off one’s red lipstick and, god willing, some green boots.

I’ve had an epiphany and here it is: I don’t want to know about anyone’s personal style!

After reading about Andrea Linett, a nice woman who looks like Sarah Jessica Parker, at stylelikeu.com, I find the whole Look-at-My-Wardrobe craze to be WAY too much information. It’s all so embarrassing.

People seem to be hopelessly enamored of their own specialness. I hate the word “enamored” but I’m using it to get in the mood. I think the awful prose of the stylikeu wordsmith is rubbing off on me!

Try this: “Among the voluminous amount of people that inspire Andrea is …”

Are you happy with the usage of “voluminous?” Me neither! It just gets worse until you want to stab yourself or puncture your eardrums.

Here’s what Andrea says of her boots:

Sruli Recht was born in Israel, moved to Australia, and built a design studio in Iceland where he has produced a line of beautiful men’s shoes made from whale foreskins, and so much more!

“For his first complete collection of menswear, dubbed “When Gravity Fails,” Recht’s particular futuristic aesthetic can best be described as boasting an ethereal masculinity.”

“Icarus, post-crash,” for example, is a sheath made up of blackbird feathers sourced by local marksmen. By contrast, the white wondrous woolly creation entitled “Born out of this,” is derived from 27 still born lambs, giving purpose to the lost souls that were not meant to be.”*

Did you get that? That’s 27 still born lambs.  Here is an older piece:

The Binding of Isaac is a four-cornered shawl of German flannel, dyed twice with the blood of a ram and left to cure for ten months. The hand-sewn binding is resurrected golden military dead-stock satin, and has twined and knotted tzitzit [tassels] attached to its four corners with 613 tight knots.

This designer has been at it for a long time. His work is the kind of thing I usually scoff at but there’s something about Sruli Recht that projects integrity as well as genuine artistry. His descriptions of his products are witty and often poetic.

Google him if you want to know more. Or see him on video here.

Do you find him pretentious or fascinating? Would you even have sex with him?

Dear Sylvia,

I’m sorry to inform you that there’s a dress named after you, available at Shopbop. I don’t know why anyone would name a dress ‘The Sylvia Plath’ but that’s what happened. I hope you like modal and spandex, with ruching and shoulder ties.

I know you weren’t thinking of fashion when you put your head in the oven….or were you? I too have wanted to kill myself after looking at horrible fashion. Thank god you don’t have to see ‘The Gertrude Stein’ which is made by the same company and even more tragic and inappropriate.

Yours apologetically,

Sister Wolf

Cheap Monday, the Swedish fashion line that brought you those $65 jeans that make you look (and feel) like a sausage, has come up with a garment that looks just like a hefty bag.

I know everybody loves the Cheap Monday jeans, but I hate them. I’d rather pay a ton of money for my jeans and have them fit well and enhance my butt if possible. I also like the absence of brand logos and weird embroidery on the back pockets.

Swedish designers are otherwise really impressive at the moment. Whyred is pretty cool and of course Acne is, too. Even though they wouldn’t let me have the bondage-like shoes of my dreams, which are actually quite hideous and can be purchased in white here at eluxury.com.

And on the subject of bondage and shoes, check out these by Natacha Marro, from House of Harlot, where everything is totally fabulous, tempting and not quite affordable.

Vivienne Westwood now offers you the Penis Drop Pendant, for only $138!  You could wear it with the Penis Cufflinks, if that’s not too much penis for you.

I’d been reading how this new spring nail color by Chanel was an absolute Must, destined to sell out before you could say “Fashion Victim.”

So when I came upon a display case of it at a trendy Neiman Marcus spin-off called Cusp, I grabbed a bottle and felt the rush of triumph of a hopelessly brainwashed competitive shopper. I’ve got my Blue Satin, ha ha, the rest of you can wander around in the desert, looking for your bottle.

If only the formula wasn’t so goopy, but that’s Chanel for you: Crap. It’s 19 bucks but some of the nice people at ebay are already selling it for $45.