Godammit, I’m Mad!

Today’s worthy Object of Hatred is New York photographer Ryan McGinley. He is famous for his photos of naked young people, frolicking in the woods or whatever he wants them to do.  His subjects are often his group of supercool friends, a la Nan Goldin, but more detached and pointless. He has gone from self-described skater kid to acclaimed bigtime Hipster.

It’s not just that I hate his work or that he’s a friend of Hipster Faux-Artist Dash Snow. It’s his clothes, which he eagerly describes in self-aggrandizing detail in Vice Magazine.

For example, in the photo above, McGinley notes that he’s wearing Robert Mapplethorpe’s leather pants. Oh my, that is cool, right? Or is it sickening? Later, when you learn that they were a “gift” from Jack Walls, an old black guy who was one of Mapplethorpe’s favorite models, one can assume that McGinley is quite the opportunist. And one is not any happier when McGinley says of a  t-shirt, “If you’re Japanese, you probably collect this shit.”

After you’ve seen and read about his wardrobe, Ryan McGinley leaves you with the bad taste of rotten Hipster in your mouth. You may even look at your own Converse shoes a little suspiciously.

I hate Ryan McGinley and now you can, too!

Just when I was considering the possibility of throwing some shit out, I come across a group of compulsive collectors, thanks to Men.Style.com. I was looking for Philip Grangi, a jewelry designer, and discovered that he is a self-described “Avid Materialist” who can’t resist collecting things, even from dumpsters.

I personally have too many ‘collections’ but not as many as Philip Crangi. He is seized with a sudden urge to collect something and then scours the city for it. I like how unabashed he is about his compulsions. He admits that he’d rather put stuff in storage, where he can’t even see it, than sell any of it. Naturally, he loves and collects taxidermy. Who doesn’t, at this point? I’m ready to approach someone at the next cocktail party with the conversation-opener “So how much taxidermy do you own?”

On this same site, you can meet artist Hunt Slonem, who is also an Avid Materialist, but on a much grander scale. He makes Andy Warhol look like a slacker, collection-wise. You need to see the video clip to grasp Hunt Slonem’s delightful mania for color and collecting.

And then I came across these two guys who have a clothing company called Barking Irons. They are the ultimate New York Hipsters. Silly caps, long scarves, fingerless gloves, facial hair, the whole shebang. They collect old Victorian shit and they’re “obsessed with Authenticity.” One of them holds an old whiskey bottle and starts rhapsodizing about it. Why do I hate them? Oh, right, I’m a cunt!

I am exhausted from all the obsession. Anyone out there collect anything that isn’t taxidermy?

Why did god make Feist?  I know why he made Lindsay Lohan (so we can make fun of her) and Renee Zellweger (so we can all scream “eeoow!” when we see her making that face) and that guy in Maroon 5 (so we can go “Ugh, what a douche!”) and Mike Huckabee (so we can say, “Wow, loony tunes”) and Ann Coulter (so we can feel united by a common enemy). I even know why god made Hillary Swank (so we can think “She still looks like a man!”)

But Feist, what the hell? I think she might represent everything I hate about post-hip hipsterism, but I’m not even sure of that.  If I close my eyes, maybe she’ll go away.