Godammit, I’m Mad!

Last night, my husband expressed his disappreciation of the acting on True Blood. I agree that the acting is terrible. But I suggested to him that it might be worthwhile to see Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer having sex, given their hotness.

My husband claimed to have no interest at all in a sex tape with Bill and Sookie. Upon reflection, I wondered if I wanted to see any celebrities having sex. If you’ve seen the Pam and Tommy opus, you know exactly what I mean, right? It’s just tragic and disgusting.

Are there any celebrities whose sex tapes would appeal to you? Angie and Brad, maybe? Or is it all just awful?

Today I came across this bewitching long-haired girl and recognized her at once as another girl I want to be.

I don’t see many of them but when I do see one, it’s like an ache of remorse and disappointment. It’s like, I should have been her! What happened?  Here is another one. Her name is Pandora, apparently, which spells trouble, but I’d like to wake up and be her anyway. Click on her to see the full glory.

It seems to be all about hair, doesn’t it? It’s not just the hair, but hair is a big deal for me. I used to have a recurring nightmare that someone had cut off my hair. It’s a little like the one where you’re spitting out your teeth. The other night I dreamed there were bugs in my bathtub, and when I tried to squash them, they got bigger.  I would say that’s a Sisyphus dream….or maybe it’s just about anxiety.

Here’s another girl, I can’t remember where I found her but I see I have saved the picture as: “I will be her!”

Here’s a young model named Zippora Seven. Eerily reminiscent of Pandora, name-wise.

Why didn’t I get to be any of these girls? It’s a mystery I will never understand. Of course, I would much rather be Patti Smith or Amanda Palmer, but at this point I’ve learned to settle for worshiping them.

Looking through my file of photos, I came across this artist whose name is poetry itself: Marion Tampon-Lajarriette.

I don’t want to be her but I like the idea of putting “tampon” in my name like that. I guess that’s what Art is all about.

Ladies, do we love these crazy gloves? Dominic Jones has a new line of jewelry out, including leather gloves with white gold plated nails. They also come in red, with gold nails.

Whoever he is, his ad campaign is working. I want to be these hot girls. If  I could, I’d buy the girls instead of the jewelry. Maybe not Lizzy Jagger, though. I sense too much trouble there.

Much of this jewelry looks remarkably like Hannah Martin’s distinctive designs, but she’s probably too busy for a lawsuit. (God, I love her. Read an interview with her here.)

There is something liberating about looking for cool things when there’s no possibility of buying them. I won’t be grinding my teeth and trying not to reach for my credit card! I am flat broke!

Nonetheless, there’s no arguing that hot girls in leather and jewels are a nice change from you-know-who.