Godammit, I’m Mad!

Refinery 29 is running a contest, and the prose roped me in:

“Simone is hooking up one lucky reader with an insanely rad, cropped, silk jacket. Just tell us how you’d wear a shrunken moto with your fave summer outfit, and the reader with the best styling skills will get this sweet giveaway.”

They’re announcing the winner tomorrow and I’m all excited.

Actually, no, not excited, more like pessimistic, I guess. I probably should have added one more “moto” to really nail it.

Imelda Matt turned me on to Ellery, one of Australia’s fantastic young designers whose footwear also gives me a blowjob™.  Look at the sleeves on this denim jacket, available for pre-order at My-Catwalk.  I know there’s a hint of Erin Wasson via Alexander Wang, but we can’t let Erin ruin everything. I think this jacket can stand on its merits, that’s how much I love the coppery chain sleeves.

Click on this picture to see the chain sleeves on this black top by Ellery, and take a look at the shoes too. Are you hard yet?!?!?

Looking back on the Bad Hair Lament and the close call with the Topshop Jacket, I can only say Thank god it all worked out okay.

Andy fixed the hair and if you live in LA, he will fix yours, too. Plus, if you don’t want to talk about your problems, you can get him to talk about his. Or even better, you can toss around business ideas, like my plan to start “Clitter” which would be like Twitter but only for chicks. Thanks Andy!

I wanted a photo of the Fixed Hair to be taken outside in daylight, so I grabbed a jacket from the depths of my heartbreakingly* tiny closet and Look! It’s the beautiful metallic blue leather jacket from Neiman Marcus! I’ve had it for at least 15 years but I forgot about it.

The leather is pornographically soft and supple. The color is so awesome, I don’t even know what to call it. Is there a color specialist out there?

Anyway, I know this jacket will either steal your hearts or make them race, one or the other.

I think I’m ready to give up the desperate hunt for more jackets, at least temporarily.  Now, I’m obsessed with my aging face and how much I want some Restylane or that other shit that costs $600 per syringe.  I need to get the money together in a hurry, before Madonna uses up the world’s supply.

* Still enjoying this word. Taking suggestions for a new one.

If only I had an income, I would have to buy this embroidered silk biker jacket.  It is not just unconventional, but it immediately reminded me of  Gram Parsons and his white Nudie suit on the first Burrito Brothers album.

Same same but different, as they say in Thailand.

The jacket is at farfetch, by Laura Lees, for only $304!  Whoever Laura Lees is, I salute her. Here’s a close-up of some embroidery on another one of her designs.

Oooooh! Do you love it or do you love it?!

Well, fuck. I have no money but if you’re a wealthy stalker, I’m a size small. Let’s take our minds off shopping by listening to the poignant raw beauty of Gram’s voice. Gone but never, ever forgotten.

You will be craving bigass platform wedges and baggy Boyfriend Jackets. Or else.

Acne Fall 09