Let us all follow the Christmas tradition* of reading The Story of the Lesbian Stick.

~

* Heartfelt atheist blessings to all you people who come here and especially you special ones who have given me so much. xo

“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics.

You are all stardust.

You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded. Because the elements, the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars. And the only way they could get into your body is if the stars were kind enough to explode.

So forget Jesus. The stars died so you could be here today.”

- Lawrence Krauss

Illustrated by Tatyana T.  (Click on image for full size)

Illustrated by Tatyana T.  (Click on image for full size)

*Stay tuned for the uplifting conclusion of Bryanboy and the Christmas Miracle….

Illustrated by Tatyana T.  (Click on image for full size)

A thoughtful girl named Lauren sent a link to these achingly ugly monstrosities by our friend Al Wang. They’re at Opening Ceremony for only $925. The description begins: “alexander wang knows a thing or two about what a girl wants.”

What would that be, Al? Terrifying footwear covered with hair?

(I want to thank Lauren for this distraction, because I am really struggling. I have been reading about grief and it doesn’t help. Knowing what’s normal doesn’t make it easier. I can’t see a way out of this. Finding solace in The Stupid and Awful is my only coping mechanism.)

Having now attained the perfect haggard beauty of the suffering Christ, Max is hoping for permission to eat or drink tonight.

Reading the supportive comments here after 12 hours of dragging Biggie and Tupac around the hospital bed is so uplifting, you have no idea. You fuckers are the best. I must have done something right in a previous life. xoxo

“Predatory and provocative, these leather shorts feature vertical zipper details. Hidden zipper and hook-and-eye closure at side. Lined.”   By McQ – Alexander McQueen. $755

Maybe with an insanely shredded tshirt and ___________________.

Fill in the rest.

Winner gets an exciting  collection of St. Joseph Picture Books for children!

As you all know by now, Bristol Palin has “delivered” a healthy baby boy named Tripp. What you may not know is that I am a highly regarded journalist in my spare time, and here are the facts:

On December 23, a life-size Baby Jesus was stolen from the manger display at the Clover Pass Community Church in Ketchikan, Alaska. The hand-carved figurine had been chained to the church’s nativity scene, but “someone” managed to undo the chain.

DO THE MATH, PEOPLE!

As Bristol’s due date drew near, Mrs. Palin had to have Levi’s mom arrested in order to get the boy’s attention. He had been refusing to visit Bristol in her dungeon bedroom at the Palin compound in Wasilla. The drug bust succeeded in prompting young Levi to take a leave of absence from his meth lab job. He reluctantly stayed at Bristol’s side until Todd gave him the signal on December 23.

Todd and Levi managed to sneak the Baby Jesus into the Wasilla Hospital, while the nurses were busy counting bottles of Oxycontin and arguing about how to divide them fairly among the staff.

Bristol was rushed to the hospital by Piper, who is allowed to drive the snowmobile on special occasions.

It was easy to fool the doctor on duty, who was tweaking and texting madly on his Blackberry to Levi’s mom, unaware that she had changed her phone number at the advice of her attorney.

Thus, little Tripp was welcomed into the world, looking a little stiff but just as cute as his brother Trig, if not cuter.