I continue writing this blog because it seems like something normal and productive to cling to, but I’m not sure if it’s doing me any good.  When I’m not at my computer, I am mostly catatonic or crying. I reject all talk of “getting over it.” I don’t want to hear that he “is with me.” He is not with me. That is the problem.  He is  gone. And I miss him so much.

My husband and my teenager need me to stick around. It would be too brutal for me to act on my yearning to go find Max. I guess I’m not at the level of desperation where you stop caring about the hearts you will break.

Meanwhile, life goes on around me at home, and our roof is leaking badly enough to cause the ceiling to crumble in the kitchen. It falls in chunks and finer particles that cover the countertops. The roof is around 30 years old now.

My Cyber-sisters Kate and Queens Marie and Michelle have teamed up with everyone’s favorite jewelry designer and raconteur Wendy Brandes to raise funds for a new roof. I am so humbled by their kindness that I feel I must get in the spirit of things by showing off the adorable logo that Michelle designed:

The picture links directly to Wendy’s order form.

A roof is a symbol of shelter and stability. It would be a positive undertaking for my family and maybe even for me.

I love that our little community can be a force for good. We are all elevated by acts of compassion! Thank you sweetie pies for wanting to help.

*If you know anyone who would like to own one of these silver woolf necklaces, pass it on.

My friend Heidi is an artist who makes jewelry and lives in New Orleans. (She wrote about the BP oil catastrophe, here.) When she heard about my leaky roof and similar worries, she made this necklace specifically to help out. It is up for auction at her website here.

My first thought upon seeing it was:  SHIT! I WANT THAT! Her photos show this piece in spectacular detail.

Heidi is the best! If you know someone who would love this necklace, please send them the link.

I am working on a special Sister Wolf Memento Thing to send to all who have contributed to the SW Relief Fund. xoxo  I am trying to develop other ideas like T-shirts and I welcome all fund-raising ideas from everybody. Thanks & blessings.

Summer Adeline is a cool girl who I never met until she made me a necklace with a locket for Max’s hair.

I only knew her from her website and some blog comments but I had a feeling that she was The One.

She came to my house from across town and presented me with the locket, beaming with pleasure at my excitement. She didn’t want any money.  She let me cry when I told her about Max, and listened patiently to the long harrowing story. She even put the hair inside the locket for me.  A lock of hair that I cut myself while a red-faced bastard from the coroner’s office yelled at me in Max’s bedroom.

Summer is an angel, and she is appropriately beautiful for the role. She’s a girl who Max would have fallen for, without a doubt.

I don’t believe that “Things happen for a reason,” but sometimes good things happen just when you need a helping hand or a ray of light or an antidote to all the stupidity and indifference you encounter every day.

Cyberspace has brought me a plague of malevolent cretins but it has also brought me Summer. Love trumps hatred. How could we exist otherwise?

Thanks, Summer! xoxo

“The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.” Karl Marx

Many years ago, I got my nose pierced. I think I was going through a rough period, because I remember my husband barging into the tattoo parlor to finish an argument with me.

Just recently, I decided to change the gold stud for a hoop. I think I was hoping for a jolt of pain, and I was not disappointed. But the cheap steel nose ring I bought wasn’t very pretty. I wanted a gold one, to match my earrings.

After a few weeks, I found the gold nose ring that my brother gave me, back when he decided to stop wearing shit in his nose. I knew I’d have trouble changing the rings, so I went to a piercing place just down the street from my house. A nice young hipster changed the nose rings. He had the assured but delicate touch of a brain surgeon.

Naturally, my brother’s nose ring was much too big and looked stupid. It bothered me all the time. I cry so often that I’m constantly blowing my nose. So I found a cheap gold ring that I hoped would be the right size.

Today, craving more pain, I waked down the street to see the nice young piercer. I learned that he was out of town, but another piercer would help me. An older , battered looking guy with a million faded tattoos led me to the piercing station and told me to lay down on the table.

His hands hovered above my nose, shaking badly. He attempted to get hold of my nose ring. I tried to conceal my fear as I asked, “Why are your hands shaking?” The hands started shaking wildly as he made another swipe at my nose.

I said. “That’s it, stop!” He backed away as I sat up. I don’t know who was more embarrassed but I wasn’t going to let some fucker rip my nose. He looked at me with a resentful expression and announced: “Hypoglycemia.”

I walked out as fast as I could. I walked a few blocks to another tattoo parlor. I explained what had happened to a dwarfish young guy with gigantic holes in his earlobes. He led me to a chair and replaced the big ring with the smaller one, warning that I would feel some “pressure.” The pain was a solid nine on a scale of one to ten. Hours later, my nose still hurts.

Of course, the new ring is too small.

I’m obsessed with jewelry made from things that shouldn’t be jewelry, like this amazing piece I found at that pawn shop where they keep the Gimp in the back room.  The people there were SO cute and nice and really authentic like folk art! Isn’t it Gorgeous? Look at the detail!

Plus they’re not meanies like those psychos at Tetanus Jewelry, who sent me so many nasty and abusive comments last week and won’t allow even ONE negative comment on their own blog. Not even the words “Hahaha!” God, people are disappointing sometimes, aren’t they?!

In other exciting jewelry news, I took out my nose stud and put in a little ring or hoop or whatever it’s called. It looks a little stupid but change is supposed to be good, even though I’ve never believed this and still don’t.

I loved this image when I saw it here, even before I realized that the rings were created by Cami and Nadia of Di$count. Check out their stunning photos here.  The design is limited to only 50 rings, and you can order one for $180.

Imagine the ring worn over a thin leather glove. Or with blood red nail polish. Or any other arrangement. Mmmm.

If you don’t live in Los Angeles, you may not be familiar with Fred Segal, a retail establishment frequented by pop stars and wealthy anorexics. Long ago, I realized that Fred Segal is in league with Satan. But yesterday, I forgot.

Feeling bored and oppressed by existential malaise, I went to Fred Segal to look at earrings. I have been fixated on the idea of gold safety pin earrings and I knew Fred Segal would have some. It’s a knowledge based on the type of people who shop there and a dark intuition fostered by Satan Himself.

So there I was, in the full glory of unemployment, when the salesgirl said, “Yes, we do have gold saftey pin earrings!” She produced five pairs of earrings, one covered in tiny emeralds.  I tried on one earring and thought, Okay, got to have them.

I handed my credit card to the salesgirl, my heart pounding with excitement and guilt. The voices in my head argued about the purchase, with the Addict Voice taking the lead. “So what if you can’t afford them, so what!”

The salesgirl was having trouble with her computer. It wouldn’t recognize my card or anything else. She apologized and decided to reboot the computer.

As I waited, I felt the sense of deranged lust for the earrings start to wane. I could already predict the remorse. Maybe I didn’t even need to buy them. I told the salesgirl while she struggled, “If this goes on much longer, I will take it as a message from god that I don’t need these earrings.” She laughed and said, “No, it’s just a message from this computer, don’t worry, I’ll get it to work.”

She called a supervisor who tried to give her directions over the phone. Now I was sure: I didn’t give a shit about the earrings! Life would go on without them. In fact, life would be much, much better without them!

I reached over and grabbed my credit card and said. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go now. Too bad it didn’t work out.”

I marched out of there as fast as my wonky hip would allow, dizzy with the joy of missing a bullet. God was stronger than Satan and I owe Him one. If he would hide my fucking credit card, so much the better.

A few people have cited a certain blogger as someone who would annoy me, so tonight I checked her out. The thing that struck me most was her hideous collection of claw-themed jewelry.

Why the fucking claws?! (Somehow I feel this question woud sound more  beautiful and heartfelt in French but I don’t speak French. Can anyone help translate??)

Now that skull imagery is somewhat passe, the trend has moved to animal skulls. If I see another fucking brass bird-skull necklace, I’m going to strangle someone with it. Bird-skulls, huge claws, talons, just take them all away. Mom of Shoes has a monstrous claw pendent by the ubiquitous Pamela Love and so does every Clueless Goth Kid and tattooed fashion model a la Erin Wasson.

I was so annoyed by the claw-laden blogger that I went to etsy and typed “claw.” Try it! A huge volume of icky claw-things is available, many rivaling Mom’s $700 pendent in stark ugliness. I was particularly impressed by a store called Loved to Death, where I came across these “muskrat mandible” earrings.

And I realized that the blogger girl owns an identical pair!

What is the point in adorning yourself in stupid faux taxidermy? Why do so many people follow these trends? When can we go back to appreciating objects that are life-affirming rather than dead or faux-dead?

I feel like I’m probably the last person to discover Mouton Collet, but better late then never, in this case. Everyone loves antlers, so this furry hate is “right on trend.”  Mouton Collet designed a white antler hat for Lady Gaga but I personally don’t care about her wardrobe, her nose, or anything else. Let’s just ignore her for now.

These bracelets take spikes to a new level. I want them to be leather but I’m not sure what they’re made of.

These necklaces look like leather and goat hair. The collection is called Féroce and you can see more images here.

All in all, I’d say it reminds me of Natalia Brilli, but a little more Pagan Hipster™ and nutty. Mouton Collet also designed a collection of silver jewelry for men, and here is an image I find strangely appealing.

I’ve named this guy “My Houseboy.”

Sea has been busy busy busy.  Above, she models the first creation of a new jewelry and belt line that she and Mom are launching. Hopefully, there will be giant slugs and cockroaches too.

Secretly, Sea has been visiting the brothels of Bangkok, looking for Asian boys with prominent anuses. She has become a favorite with the locals, who scream and hold out their prosthetic legs, hoping she will reward them with a Miu Miu platform bootie or Givenchy ballet flat.

While Sea was off indulging her appetite for hipster porn, Mom discovered that after spending $25,000 at Barneys, she could pick up a Celine bag with her free points! You can see it over at her blog. Meanwhile, Mom plundered eBay for its most icky offerings, including this tragic ‘dragon sweater’:

The sweater will look cool with another of Mom’s recent eBay finds, a scary fish pendant:

Back at Mom’s blog, she shows off some other crap she “won” on eBay. She still can’t use the word “buy!” I love this stubbornness so much, it reminds me of myself and that’s what I look for in people.

Mom’s shopping has gotten so out of control, Sea has threatened to delete her blog. Mom begged Sea to reconsider, even promising to hand over all her curated knits from the 70’s, including every single Adolfo cardigan jacket rejected by Nancy Reagan.

Sea is planing to replace Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel, based on her work with crayons. Karl is upset, but you can’t fight progress. Yohji and Junya have gone into hiding.

Mom is hoping to work for Sea, without whom her life would be an endless quest for bad jewelry and letters to her ex-husband, begging for funds. Mom has been calling Carol, tattling on Sea’s naughty lesbian proclivities, hoping Carol can persuade Sea to make up with Akbar.

Carol is too busy to leave her studies but here’s what she wrote to Mom:

Dear Mom, I think you should let Jane be free to follow her dreams. You should find a way to fulfill yourself without exploiting Jane or Dad. I’ve learned here at school that there’s more to life than hoarding material goods. Love, Carol.

Do you have a comment for Jane? You can leave one here, thanks to my gracious gift of comment space for this purpose.