Godammit, I’m Mad!

Here is the KEY LOOK for Fall, modeled by Shopbop’s new model, Rumer 2.0, featuring the all important shaggy fur jacket. Yes, this is the very same faux fur immortalized by Sea of Shoes and Her Mom in Vogue magazine! I’ll wait here while you race to order it from Intermix.

Okay, are you back? So, the aim for Fall is to look like a 70’s era hooker. Pretend you’re an extra in Taxi Driver. It’s all about trashy fierceness.  Be sure to throw in something sequined, “from super shiny to uber-destroyed.”

Torn, shredded skinnies topped with more torn crap:  “As you move into fall you will need to upgrade from your ripped, ravaged and shredded tee to the sweater version of this red hot trend. Kimberly Ovitz creates it here for you in a relatively heavy sweater knit. In black.”

Thanks, Kimberly! $795 at Intermix.

We’re almost done! Once you’ve got the fierce skinnies, studded boots, ripped l——s, military jacket, fake fur and layers of boyfriend t-shirts, PILE ON some twisted up chain necklaces with fun amulets like daggers, skulls, talons, and the kitchen sink. Here’s a good prototype, by Fallon, $145.

Now you’re ready to hit the streets, with or without your pimp. WAIT, did I forget to say leather?!? Sorry. Leather leather leather leather. Biker leather, asymetrical leather, studded leather, moto leather, leather leather.

“Predatory and provocative, these leather shorts feature vertical zipper details. Hidden zipper and hook-and-eye closure at side. Lined.”   By McQ – Alexander McQueen. $755

Maybe with an insanely shredded tshirt and ___________________.

Fill in the rest.

Winner gets an exciting  collection of St. Joseph Picture Books for children!

Your rocker chic look will revolve around the leather dress. These two are at Intermix.  Haha, I already have mine.

I’ve got my over-the-knee leather boots and my six leather jackets. Now all I’m missing are the leather you-know-whats (I’ve decided never to use the word “leggings” again, after reading this account of an idiotic personal struggle over them.)

Is there another word I can use? “The L-word” is already taken.  I need suggestions.

Ladies, do we love these crazy gloves? Dominic Jones has a new line of jewelry out, including leather gloves with white gold plated nails. They also come in red, with gold nails.

Whoever he is, his ad campaign is working. I want to be these hot girls. If  I could, I’d buy the girls instead of the jewelry. Maybe not Lizzy Jagger, though. I sense too much trouble there.

Much of this jewelry looks remarkably like Hannah Martin’s distinctive designs, but she’s probably too busy for a lawsuit. (God, I love her. Read an interview with her here.)

There is something liberating about looking for cool things when there’s no possibility of buying them. I won’t be grinding my teeth and trying not to reach for my credit card! I am flat broke!

Nonetheless, there’s no arguing that hot girls in leather and jewels are a nice change from you-know-who.

When this green jacket was delivered, I was afraid to open the package. But like so many things that are scary at first, it was fucking fabulous.

This is the most beautiful garment you can imagine. Softest lambskin, velvety soft suede collar thingy, the hardware is so sleek and well-designed that it just snaps into place, and god bless Mary, there’s a tiny inner pocket tipped in silver leather.

My husband liked it, too! When I informed him, “If it had a dick, I would blow it!” he did wince a little. He thought I was vulgar, and I’m ashamed of myself, almost. Should I have said “cock?”

The poor man has married a vulgarian, and he deserves so much better. He’s the best husband! I would never cheat on him with this jacket.  But don’t think I won’t be giving it a sneaky feel now and then.

P.S. Notice how I didn’t use the words “smitten,” “epic” “insane” or “sick.” This is why I rule.

Having admitted that I am addicted to shopping, I vowed to stop.  Nevertheless, I bought this jacket.

Can anyone explain why I need it?

Complete this sentence:  “I’m glad I bought this jacket because now ____________”

Skin.Graft is an L.A. based label I first heard about via Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls. That’s how hip I am. But I forgot about it until recently, and now I can’t get enough. Look at the antler girl! I asked for antlers, and the universe answered. The ruffled skirt is one of Skin.Graft’s trademarks, and I think it rules.

For their fall/winter 2009 collection, designers Jonny Cota, Cassidy Haley and Katie Kay pulled their inspiration from “neo-Victorian royalty and overly tarnished motorcycles smashing into each other at high speeds.”

Sounds good to me.

While my bosom was still heaving over Skin.Graft, I learned that Louis Verdad has a new collection that is also heavy on the Goth-inspired leather and spikes.

Mmmmmm. When I retire to the attic like Mrs. Rochester, I plan to be swathed in Louis Verdad on the occasions that my Victorian mourning gowns are in the wash.

Having bought the perfect and ultimate black leather dress, I found I was too lame to wear it with anything but more black. I think it looks good with black tights and black shoes, but I want to think of this dress as versatile. Wouldn’t it look great with something else? Like what?

Here it is without me in it. Isn’t it awesome?! It zips up the back and has zippers at the cuff, too.

I wore it to a dinner party and towered over all the women, who may have been midgets. I drank some wine and got involved in a lively theological discussion that led one guest to exclaim “Talmud Schmalmud,” which is my feeling as well.

So, help a sister out on the accessory question. What is your vision for this dress? I have a million pairs of boots, some clunky black high-heels, clunky red high-heels, pointy lace up flats, and that’s about it. I’m willing to buy the right shoes or leg-wear if I only knew what they were.

(If anyone needs to say I look like a drag queen, hurry up and get it over with. Plus, “I look fat but I’m really not.”)

UPDATE:  Romeo’s paper-doll prototypes are very exciting. See?

Yesterday, when I wasn’t busy with penises, I found this leather skirt that I can’t afford, but still covet. The pleated ruffles just kill me! What wouldn’t look great with this skirt?

So now I’m aware of Hartmann Nordenholz, who designed these amazing dresses. Do you love him or do you love him?

Hello Icelanders! I wanted to reach out to you guys, since my google tracker thingy reveals that none of you visit me here at Godammit.com.  I love Bjork, especially her swan dress by that designer with the funny name. I love her full eyebrows and her website is amazing. I love that her boyfriend is that nutcase Matthew Barney, who made a 12 hour film about his testicles.

I also love Sigur Ros! Their sound is so weird and haunting! Is everything in Iceland weird and haunting, actually? Let me know!

Not from Iceland but still of interest, take a look at these leather shorts by Camilla Staerk. I could never wear them and yet I feel deprived by not having them. Go and buy them at Oak, but then I’ll be mad at you.