Godammit, I’m Mad!

I know that in the grand scheme of things, celebrities don’t matter, but once in a while they intrude upon my thoughts and sicken me more than a hideous display of fringed boots at Nordstrom.

John Mayer is not just an ugly face or a mediocre musician, he’s now proved him self to be an unforgivable cad. If you’re above watching trash TV, you may not know that John Mayer stood on a New York street corner to tell some paparazzi why he broke up with Jennifer Aniston. He repeated the phrase “I ended it because” several times. He needed to make sure that the world knows he is the dumper, and Jennifer Aniston is the dumpee. His insistent praise of her (”She is the loveliest person! The most sophisticated person!”) were just more knives in her back. The unspoken clause is obviously, “but I still don’t want a relationship with her.”

John, didn’t anyone ever teach you some manners? What an egotistical fucking douche! After all the nosejobs she’s had, doesn’t Jen deserve better?! Does she need to hack off the entire nose?!?!

All one can do is wait patiently for the tabloids to plot Jennifer’s next move. It will be one of the following:

1. “Jen turns to Brad for consolation!”
2. “Jen is furious, because SHE’S the one who ended it!”
3. “Jen bounces back by dating the hunky [fill in name here."]

After winning the title of “Most Publicly Humiliated Woman in the World” from Hilary Clinton, Jennifer Aniston merits a place on the Democratic ticket or at least a decent boyfriend who’ll stick around and keep his mouth shut.

I was surprised to find my self addicted to The Tudors, on Showtime, which just had its season finale last week.  It seemed pretty stupid the first time I watched it. That Jonathan Rhys Meyers is such a terrible actor. He seems to think he’s playing Elvis most of the time, or else he’s just glaring insanely. And I’m not really interested in historical drama.

What drew me in was the unforgettable face of Natalie Dormer as Anne Boleyn. She has what I consider a pig nose, in the best sense of the term. It’s so turned up, you could look right into it. And she held that pignose high, even into death. ( At least I think she did, because I had to close my eyes for that.)

Every Sunday night, I curled up on the couch to see that nose. The production values were excellent, the costumes were beautiful, the plot was full of intrigue, but for me it was all about Natalie Dormer. Her trajectory from devious minx to a deeply tragic figure was so gripping, and superbly acted.  And at the center of her performance was her nose.

I miss her already. I couldn’t care less about Season 3. They’re all dead to me now.