Oooooh, I love these boots, because I love boots and because theyr’e “nude” which is So Essential this season.
But they also come in black suede with gold embossed stuff.
I want these boots. They look like I MIGHT be able to walk in them, too. But I can’t have them because of the no money thing. I can’t buy either pair. Which pair should I not buy more? The nude or the gold?
The sight of this fake fur jacket triggered my shopping addiction, big time. To make things worse, it’s called the Wolf Jacket. It seemed like destiny, if destiny were a voice in my head saying “Buy it, put it on your credit card, do it, do it, do it!”
In a stroke of unwitting genius, I asked my kid webmaster to stick my head on the lookbook model.
VOILA!!! It looks stupid on me! I don’t need to buy it. Free at last!
I’ve never stopped loving Levi’s, same as disneyrollergirl and my friend Mark (who has curated 60 pairs.) Levi’s has always been around, making high quality jeans that almost anyone can afford. Once in a while they collaborate with big names like Comme des Garcons, House of Holland, and Andy Warhol.
Their new collaboration with Gaultier proves that you CAN wear denim with denim, since these two pieces can be purchased separately but look perfect together.
I’m not too sure what’s going on with these harem pants but clearly they would obscure one’s flat asymmetrical ass with all that fabric.
I would hoard wear these things if only I had some money. Later on I’d probably have to sell them on eBay but I’d still love to get my hands on them.
Still suffering from the irrational and inappropriate longing for leather shorts, I was thrilled to find this hideous pair above, by Derek Lam, for $1,450 at Saks.com. It’s always nice when your unwholesome shopping fixation is chipped away by images or associations that ruin the whole idea of whatever it is you think you need.
Look at this atrocity below by YSL, also at Saks, for $1,950.
Horrible, aren’t they?
Here’s a pair by Juicy called “Moto Leather Shorts” that compounds the “Moto” problem with a ruffle at the hem. Yay!
My craving is starting to wane, but it’s still troubling. To make it even more tragic, the Huffington Post featured an article yesterday that asked: “Can Women Over 5o Look Great in Jeans?”
I resent this stupid question on every level. What the fuck does “great” even mean in this context? Do they actually mean “thin?” Maybe women over 50 should just kill themselves rather than be subjected to more critiques of this nature.
How about this: I have a pair of nothing leather pants that I could cut off to make shorts. Is this a viable plan? Or not?
Oooooh, I want to curate and fondle these sunglasses. Did you know there are whole blogs devoted to cool eye-ware?! Shit! It never ends.
I love these shoes, but not as much as the selling points, as dreamed up by Stylebop. The Agnes Deyn reference almost ruined them for me, but not quite. If they were affordable, I would wear them with everything except for the hippie dresses and petticoats.
Stylebop sells beautiful stuff that you can’t always find online. For me, the attraction is the copy-writing. Where else would a “small 1cm wooden heel” be described in the same breath as “robust?”
Go to Stylebop and enjoy its wonderful malaprops and cockamamie styling advice!
1. Put your item in the shopping cart.
2. Open a new window and go to a news website
3. Take a few cleansing breaths
4. Think about all the things you own that are nearly EXACTLY like the thing in your cart.
5. Think about your unpaid bills.
6. Recall the last time you bought something that didn’t make you one bit happier.
7. Picture yourself ordering the item and feeling the inevitable remorse.
8. Now picture yourself feeling virtuous.
9. What a close call!
11. See? You can kick this habit: You are in control.
12. The next day, go back to your cart and buy your item because you really really want it.
*Photo by Jeongmee Yoon
Whenever I get email updates from Pixie Market, I dutifully click to see their new arrivals, and inevitably I am horrified. It’s not the items they sell, but how they are put together. Why would anyone want any of the garments in the pictures above?
Let’s say I wanted a floppy white sweater. After seeing it as part of this horrible ensemble, ugh, forget it! Why the dead animal boots and the stupid hat?
Look at this Pixie Market girl. I can’t remember which item is supposed to be on display…the jacket, maybe?…but the horrible styling just repels me. Is the stylist blind or is she having a little private laugh?
More and more, I’m aware that it’s the styling I respond to, not the product. The styling is everything; it promotes a fantasy you want to buy into, if it succeeds. If it fails, as in Pixie Market, there’s almost no way you’ll spend your money.
Here’s some trousers I’ve been ogling for weeks. Don’t worry, I’m broke. But I’m drawn to the trousers because of the elegant no-nonsense styling. This girl says to me, “If you buy these trousers, you’ll be a young Lauren Bacall, so carefree that your shirt cuffs won’t even match! You’ll be sloppy but pulled together! You’ll get to wear your men’s shoes but still exude confident femininity!”
This brand, Hope, really knows what they’re doing. Whereas the Pixie Market people, I’m not getting their message unless it’s “Buy this stuff if you wanna look not only unsophisticated but also blind and crazy!”
Okay, you know the drill. Here is a chance to buy something from Sister Wolf’s Hoarded Fashion Collection™.
Funds must be raised. So here is a vintage charm necklace by Kenneth Jay Lane, an original from the late 70s and not one of his newer copies of his earlier designs. The chain is 24 inches long and the longest charm is 4 inches long.
It is awesome, as you can see. $120 plus $5 shipping in the US.
Yes, my arms are veiny, eoow, try to focus on the beautiful cuff by Tulla Booth, an artist and photographer who made some jewelry in the 80s. This cuff is gold-dipped and set with real stones. 2 1/2 inches wide and best for a slim wrist. Signed on the inside. $120 plus $5 shipping in the US.
Antique turqoise earrings set in 14k gold. They are really stunning and unusual. I need some fucking money. $70 plus $5 shipping in the US.
This beautiful Chanel handbag is STILL available and is an amazing bargain. Check out prices on eBay or in any magazine. See more photos here. $600 plus $25 shipping (includes insurance.)
Reward yourself or a loved one for Christmas! Contact: sisterwolf666@gmail.com to purchase, via paypal or whatever.
Please don’t leave comments about how you wish you had the money, UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU or UNLESS YOU ARE WENDY B, who is compelled to do anything you forbid her from doing.
xo
I wasn’t even looking for it, and boom, there it was! Only $31, too.
All the stuff at The Alley Chicago reminds me of the gnarlitude girl, who never tires of saying, “Fuckin RAD!” or “Look at my old man, fuck yeah!” I’m sure that in real life, she’s a very nice girl who doesn’t really love “opiates” even though she cites them in her category “What I’m Into.”
I came across the cunt ring while searching for stuff by Ineke Otte, a Dutch designer whose hideous jewelry is currently featured at ShopCurious. Their merchandise is usually pretentious and overpriced, but normally it’s at least aesthetically pleasing. Here is Ineke Otte’s rat necklace:
WHY, ShopCurious?!? This is just crap! You can’t fool me by saying it’s an “avant garde piece.”
Obviously, I receive too many news letters from too many shopping sites. I don’t have the time or the will to look at most of them, but they are useful for reminding me of how shallow I used to be. Not that I’ve stopped being shallow, but I don’t pursue it any more. Now when I get dressed, I can honestly say that the shoes I wear are which ever ones my husband brings me when I whine, “Can you put on my shoes?”
The broken hip is a constant nuisance. I am really, really sick of it. But it has given me more compassion for my son, who is still learning to sit up in bed.
