Posts Tagged ‘polar bears’

A Shout Out To Tina Fey

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

If it weren’t for Tina Fey, how many of us would have killed ourselves by now? Tina Fey is all that stands between nervousness and mass hysteria. When you laugh at Tina’s Sarah Palin, the laughter is coming from a very dark place, a place where you want to see an ambition-crazed Bible thumper torn to pieces by starving polar bears.

Tina, please accept an honorary membership in PAP Smear, and the title of Blessed Catharsis!

Since things aren’t looking too good for Grandpa, Mrs. P says that “ the heels are on, the gloves come off!” What the heck is she sayin’???? Is this a dominatrix reference, to excite the Republican base? Or is it just stripper talk?   PAP Smear decoders, get to work!

So now that the gloves are off,   Mrs. P is accusing Obama of   “palling around with terrorists who would target their own country.” Oh, please. GONG! Get her off the stage already.

If you want to really get scared, read this op ed piece in The New York Times about Palin’s ominous desire to be President.   Make sure you’ve got a handful of Xanax or a YouTube video of Tina Fey qued up.

So, looking ahead, what magic word will you be looking for in the Tuesday debate between Grandpa and Obama?   I’m guessing Grandpa will finally yell ‘Horseshit!’ Wouldn’t that be mavericky?!

*Update: Thanks to the diligence of our own OMGGMAB, we have this exciting clip of the Castro Brothers.

Beehive in The White House: Yes But No

Friday, August 29th, 2008

I have barely come down from the high of Obama’s acceptance speech, only to learn that McCain’s choice for Vice President is a busty chick with a huge beehive who used to smoke pot and doesn’t hate gays. Governor Sarah Palin has the Sexy Librarian look that we’ve all come to appreciate, and she’s certainly a ‘fresh face’ in national politics.

But I’m sorry, a great ‘hive alone isn’t enough to get by on. Just ask Amy.   Sarah Palin is the anti-Amy, and not in a good way. In high school, she was head of her school’s Christian Fellowship of Athletes. She’s a “pro-life” activist who is skeptical about global warming and wants to prevent polar bears from being protected as an endangered species.

She is also a strong proponent for oil drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, which even McCain has opposed. She is under investigation for abuse of power in the firing of her ex-brother-in-law, a state trooper. She fired the Public Safety Commissioner who balked at firing the ex-brother-in-law, and replaced him with an official who had already been reprimanded for sexual harassment.

Sarah Palin is clearly an ambitious and capable woman, but I’d like to see her stay in Alaska and ruin things there, rather than help John McCain ruin what’s left of the whole world.

Earlier this year, She was brave and noble enough to bring a child with Down Syndrome into the world, but here are my problems with that:

1. She named him Trig. (Her other kids are named Bristol, Willow, Piper and Track)
2. She returned to her office 3 days after Trig’s birth.

Are any of you good with this? I’m saying Yes on Trig, but No on His Mom.