Godammit, I’m Mad!

If you follow this link, you can see the full line of Versace for H&M, due in stores on November 17. Bright, flashy exotic prints and old-school Versace overkill in the accessories make this collection a nostalgic trip down Eurotrash lane.

I’m ready for it! I’m tired of drab colors and black with black.

These pants come in a leafy Hawaiian print as well, and look nice under the dresses or with short clashing  tops.

I love a pink suit on a male model but I admit that I’d like one for me. I think I could pull it off. But realistically, I will probably just set my sights on the pink shoes.  I’m not willing to stand in a long line to get my hands on this stuff but if the crowds aren’t too scary, these shoes are mine.

And if the shoes don’t work out, I want the bedspread. There are matching pillows for a nice opium den effect.

What do you think about this collection? Love it or hate it? Is it worth fighting a mob of aggressive girls wearing their Lita platforms?

You know I can’t resist penis jewelry. Here are two new penis options from Vivienne Westwood.  I love the cufflinks but I wish they were earrings.  $151.51  Penis key-ring below,  $118.82

If you don’t crave penises, some other new VW pieces are elaborately pretty and clearly inspired by Salvador Dali’s jewelry.

Boulevard Pearly Queen Bracelet: $277.75   Boulevard Pearly Queen Brooch, below: $150.51

Available here.

Dali’s jewelry is exquisite and eye-popping.  If you’re not familiar with it, get ready to scream “Oooooooo!” and go here to get started.

Monastic minimalism from J. JS Lee for Fall 2011. You could add color to these elegant somber looks with the bright green suede boots we are  all waiting for.

And you can add the brand’s black leather satchel, for a chic masculine look with a hint of schoolgirl.

The older I get, the more I see the practicality of a stark, austere uniform to set off one’s red lipstick and, god willing, some green boots.

This look from L’Wren Scott is everything I like.  Dress, model, attitude, shoes=perfect.

This dress by Deisel Black Gold would solve my leather itch, at least temporarily.

Oooh, it’s a modern Frida Kahlo from The Row!  Hate the Olsens, love their butch tailoring here.

Frank Tell neo-punk. It might be the hair that won me over but it’s a good look to wear into old ladyhood.

Rachel Comey: It’s the green boots I want, but I’d take the dress too.  Green boots will be the thing, wait and see.

Bibhu Mohapatra’s elegant ladies with beehives and goth accessories are an aesthetically pleasing fantasy. I could never afford any of this shit but I love the retro sophistication.

I love these shoes, but not as much as the selling points, as dreamed up by Stylebop. The Agnes Deyn reference almost ruined them for me, but not quite. If  they were affordable, I would wear them with everything except for the hippie dresses and petticoats.

Stylebop sells beautiful stuff that you can’t always find online. For me, the attraction is the copy-writing. Where else would a “small 1cm wooden heel” be described in the same breath as “robust?”

Go to Stylebop and enjoy its wonderful malaprops and cockamamie styling advice!