Posts Tagged ‘shoes’
It’s time to move on from the big black goat-hair coat. It was fun for a while but now it’s sad. Do any normal people wear them, or just fashion blogggers?
I don’t want to see any version of the Lita, or any clog hybrids. No more talons, either. No more Alex Wang handbags and no more ratty leopard print jackets unless you’re Kate Moss.
What look or item would you like to banish for 2011?
*UPDATE – Shit, I just saw that the NYT did a piece on Ten Things they don’t want to see in 2011. It’s here.
Here is another offering from the cynical monster known as Jeffrey Campbell. Each time he comes out with one of these, he is slapping his knee and laughing. He wants to see how far he can push today’s brainwashed consumerettes.
This “shoe” is special “thanks to a super cool removable ankle cuff.” I can’t imagine fucking around with the ankle cuff and I can’t even think about it. No no no to everything about this contemptible shoe.
Now. Some of you out there are fed up with my Hideous Shoe posts. You want me to get serious, to write about stuff that’s interesting and thought provoking.
But others out there are going “Oh god, all she does is whine about her personal misery! Where is the fun stuff?”
Do I need two blogs, one for trivial mockery of fashion trends and pathetic fame-whore bloggers, and another to air my feelings of despair and hopelessness? Or should I give up blogging altogether, as a waste of time and energy? Or should I just kill myself or pray for brain cancer?
I don’t know what direction to take. I really truly don’t know if I’m trying to express myself or avoid myself. I’m looking for considered opinions, not some bullshit about some other bullshit.
Here is Vanessa Traina, an It Girl I’ve only just discovered thanks to a magazine editorial on her grotesque and pretentious crib, which features a large quantity of fur and a stuffed zebra. I was going to devote a full rant to the tragic awfulness of this person (whose mom is Louboutin-hoarder and hack writer Danielle Steele) until I came upon a video of her at a party with It Girl Jen Brill.
They are living big lives, with all that fur! Their combined shoe collections could probably buy the Taj Mahal if turned back into money, but they take their work as Chanel ambassadors very seriously.
Should we hate them, love them, or pity them?
Let me put it another way: Ms. Brill has had to submit to boyfriend Terry Richardson‘s everpresent gargantuan appendage in order to cement her status. Ms. Traina has had to endure the shame of her mother’s celebrated shopping mania, publicity seeking and poor grammar, along with who knows what else.
Share a couple of minutes with these Style Icons here! Go on, it’s worth it. My favorite part is the way Vanessa pronounces “Balmain.” (I’m saying it right now in my head.) Then look at your own shabby shoe collection and give thanks.
P.S. If I wanted to be mean, I’d say that Vanessa looks like a horse and Jen’s legs are chunky, but as a newly minted feminist, I don’t engage in Body Shaming.
(That’s how Solestruck describes this new creation by style butcher Jeffrey Campbell.)
I like how this view features chipped toenail polish!
But the very best thing of all is the strict directive: “Limit 3 per customer.“
Everyone probably knows about this but me. However just in case I’m not alone in my ignorance, there is a Virtual Shoe Museum where you can marvel at weird shoes all day long!
Check out William (Boy) Habraken‘s collection of tribal and ethnographical shoes…the largest in the world.
The Virtual Shoe Museum has a user-friendly data-base that lets you search by material (fur, feathers, plastic, wool, etc) designer, style, etc. Go have some fun!
Oh god. As if!
‘What an Angel’ by Irregular Choice. $225 at Karmaloop.
I know, you thought it was two shoes but it isn’t. Here is the explanation at Solestruck:
“Can you handle the insane amount of ferocity in this Jeffrey Campbell XXL?? There is so much going on, it’s hard to focus on anything except how KILLER this shoe is! Futuristic, animalistic, and over-the-top hot, this one is for all the wild cards out there! Featuring leather upper, suede cutouts, cheetah print, and a mirrored architectural mirrored wedge heel. Pick yourself off the floor and get this shoe before it’s gone for good! 4 3/4″ heel, 1 1/2″ platform. Leather upper and man made sole.”
God. Now what??
The shoes at Saks.com are like a festival of roadkill.
I’ve always loved fur but something about this footwear trend is making me gag. I wonder how dogs react when they see these things approaching? I’ve tried to decide which pair above is the ugliest, but it hurts to dwell upon them.
On a related note, I am stuck with my Kate Moss Groupie Coat, since no one on ebay was astute enough to buy it from me.
There is no fucking way I’m going to wear this coat and look like a Chanel Yeti or anything of that ilk. I bought it last year in a moment of delirium.
What can I do to make this coat better? I’m thinking of cutting it off to make a short jacket. Is this good or not good? Would I need to hem it? Because I can’t handle that.
Should I add some color with paint or sharpies or something?
I could run a huge contest called “Fuck Up My Coat” and post all your ideas on Flickr, but no, that’s not how I roll. Just let me know if you have a suggestion.