Godammit, I’m Mad!

Look at this new skirt at shopbop, by Thayer, available for only $253. It’s 100% polyester (so no hookers were killed in the process, I guess.) I love the description: “Destined to become a signature piece.” Ha! I wish I could write copy for shopbop, it would be a dream come true!

I don’t know who would wear Thayer’s Signature Piece, besides Lyndsay Lohan. Or her mom. But I think this four piece get-up for only $34 is a much better value. And it certainly could be someone’s Signature Piece.

Dear Sylvia,

I’m sorry to inform you that there’s a dress named after you, available at Shopbop. I don’t know why anyone would name a dress ‘The Sylvia Plath’ but that’s what happened. I hope you like modal and spandex, with ruching and shoulder ties.

I know you weren’t thinking of fashion when you put your head in the oven….or were you? I too have wanted to kill myself after looking at horrible fashion. Thank god you don’t have to see ‘The Gertrude Stein’ which is made by the same company and even more tragic and inappropriate.

Yours apologetically,

Sister Wolf

Thank god Shopbop has hired a model with implants! Now they can stop subjecting Starving Girl and Sad Redhead Girl to the humiliation of those bikini shots.