“Layered stitching lends a repaired look to these slim, two-tone skinny pants from 3.1 Phillip Lim, while tied sleeves and a sweater overlay add a clever element.”
Got that? These pants have a sweater SEWN ON to them! You can’t take it off if you get cold. It’s just there to add a clever element.
$595 at shopbop.
J Brand has started naming its pieces after famous people, offering an “Angelina Jumpsuit” and a “Halle Top.” But I’m only interested in the Bergman Leather Shorts.
Obviously, these shorts are problematic. The length is awful and who wants to spend $575 for a cheap-looking elastic waistband?
I just wish I knew which Bergman J Brand has in mind!
Ingmar Bergman? I can sort of imagine Death wearing leather shorts.
Or Ingrid Bergman? Why pick on her? She always dressed so beautifully!
What is your guess?
One of my few pleasures in life has been cruelly eradicated by the fuckers at Shopbop. They have completely changed their format, replacing our favorite models with a bunch of Nobodies and removing the boxes that separated the images.
Where is Starving Girl and Sad Redhead Girl?!? There are a few token picture of Goony Bird, but they have airbrushed her distinctive tummy deformity and you can see that her heart just isn’t in it.
This is a real slap in the face after all my devotion. Aside from the matter of my personal distress, I think this is a terrible business decision. They have broken the unique bond between viewer and model that made shopbop such a joy. There is no one to connect with now, no subtext, and god knows the merchandise is awful on its own.
Fuckers! Idiots! I was so mad that I started a petition on change.org but decided that perhaps it’s not a human rights issue after all. It’s more of a consumer betrayal, I guess.
Can anyone suggest a shopping website offering a perverse joy on the level of the sadly departed original Shopbop?
Okay, fine, at first glance they’re ugly but wait for the description:
“A softly pleated waistband flows into an effortless, wide-leg silhouette on these denim culottes.”
We’ve all come to associate “effortless” with “chic,” so maybe our brains are supposed to transpose what our eyes register as “dowdy” into “chic.”
How do the people at Shopbop know that the flow is effortless? Maybe it’s strenuous, or even harrowing?
Help finish the sentence: “These wide leg coulottes would look great with ______.”
Rag and Bone Moto Pants with Removable Kilt, $695 at shopbop*
“It’s called ‘moto’ because _________________.”
~
*Only 2 let!
“Boyfriend/girlfriend Hipster Leggings.”
$97 – shopbop.
What more could you ask for, besides antlers?
“This cotton skirt features a camouflage yoke and multicolored, eco-messaged embroidery. Topstitched snap-flap pockets at hip and paint-spattered snap-flap pockets at sides. Hidden zip and snap closures at front. Drawstring at waist and at asymmetrical bottom hem.”
Whatever.
This skirt would look good with ______________.
$253 at Shopbop, by Prps.
