Godammit, I’m Mad!

Not too long ago, I complained about the way this model was photoshopped.

Now I’d like to complain that she appears to be starving right before our eyes.  I’m sure she is naturally thin, blah blah blah, but this isn’t natural or normal.  Doesn’t anyone over at RevolveClothing have eyes in their head? I feel so remorseful for criticizing her butt!

In my fantasy of humanity, someone would be sure to take Doll Girl aside, and urge her to get help. But no, they’re putting her in these awful clothes and snapping pictures.

While everyone goes on about full-figured models and Crystal Renn, in real life women are still trying to get smaller and smaller until they disappear. Very sad.

When I saw this photo of Lindsay Lohan taking a bow at the disastrous Ungaro show, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her. Look at the emotions playing upon her worn-out face:  “They love me!” “I’ve finally arrived!” “Now Sam will be sorry!”

She doesn’t even realize how much everyone hates her or how much ridicule she’s about to endure. She is totally, monumentally clueless. The bulging lips are the icing on the cake, as it were.

But check out this Ungaro model. No one bothered to get her a feeding tube, with all the commotion about how awful the clothes were.

Poor girl! I’ll bet you anything that when she looks in the mirror, she sees a fat pig.  This isn’t Lindsay’s fault, even though Lindsay has a lot to answer for. Like the beaded white tuxedo jacket she wore to court today, which I’ve seen at net-a-porter and a bunch of other high-end shopping sites.

The truth is, I just can’t hate LL any more. She has exhausted my reserve of hatred for her and I need to move on.  Her sister might be a good candidate. Or maybe Kate Bosworth? Kate Bosworth hasn’t done anything offensive per se, but her pointlessness is starting to get to me.

Nominations, anyone?

I subscribed to a fashion blog called Fashion Copious a few weeks ago, and felt increasingly creeped out by its contents.

Today, upon realizing that I’ve become more familiar with Kristen McMenamy’s waxed landing strip that I am with my own Female Area, it suddenly hit me: This isn’t fashion, it’s porn. Soft porn, to be sure, but still. The focus of this blog is not just naked models, but very young naked models. The girl above looks like a starving pre-adolescent, but the blog’s author finds her rapturously beautiful.

Who the hell is this guy, anyway? Does anybody know his credentials, besides a keen appreciation of nude models?  With every post, he has a feature called “What My Girls are Liking” that usually features trampy girls posing in trampy outfits. What does he mean, “My Girls?” Is he a pimp or a modeling agency or what?

I feel tainted and ashamed. Sorry, naked young models! Please go home now and have something to eat!

Remember Starving Girl and Implant Girl from Shopbop?  Well, I’m happy to introduce Starving Implant Girl from Revolve Clothing. I’m on their mailing list, which means I am bound by duty to spend long hours every week, clicking on the new arrivals. It can be exhausting, let me tell you.  So it’s good when they throw me a crumb, like this poor model. She has so little body fat, you can see tendons in her hips.  But the boobs are so natural! (Just kidding!)