Jesus. Ugh.
“Exclusive tribute tee to Alexander McQueen; crew neck tee reading “Fashion Is Suicide” on front and “Fashion Is Not Suicide, R.I.P. A. McQueen” on back; 100% cotton.”
By Dimepiece Designs. $42 at Karmaloop
Thanks to Iron Chic for calling my attention to this ridiculous cover story in Life & Style Weekly, my illustrious former employer. While the magazine is known for its fair and balanced, ahem, reporting, this story about Brad and Angie’s kid is shameful drivel of the first order.
First of all, I love Shiloh. In her first published photo, she looks just like Tweety Pie, and I love Tweety Pie. I also love babies (unless they’re the really fat ones with the big bald Aryan looking heads.) Shiloh is just the epitome of cuteness. I love everything about her. I’m practically lactating just thinking about her!
I can see that she has a short haircut, but I’m not sure this makes her a lesbian or a man trapped in a woman’s body. I think Brad and Angie should sue the shit out of Life & Style for casting aspersions upon this innocent child and for fostering stupid stereotypes about gender behavior. GLAAD is pissed off by this story, and rightly so.
If you’ve ever been around little kids, you know they love to play dress up. Little boys are especially attracted to feather boas and high heels. They are trying out identities and their freedom to do this without being subject to criticism and shame is already pretty limited. I’m glad to hear that Shiloh wants to be a pirate, but I’m aware that every word I read in the gossip magazines is a lie, including “and” and “the.”
Fuckers! I’m here for you, Shiloh. I like to wear boys’ clothes, too.
Just look what happens when you take away Mrs. Palin’s trademark big hair! It’s like Samson after Delilah got through with him!
A genius over here altered some pictures of Mrs. P by removing the long hair (along with the glasses and trashy earrings.) Voila, she is instantly disempowered.
Without going into my Nobel Prize Exegesis on the subliminal sources of Mrs. Palin’s magnetism (because I haven’t written it yet) I will just say that without these totems, she loses the medley of conflicting archetypes that serve to resonate with both her fans and detractors.
With the Big Hair and other accoutrement’s, she is simultaneously a Vixen, Church Lady, Librarian, Dominatrix, Stripper and Mommy. Take that shit away and what do you have?
(I know Mr. Duff will have a good answer.)
Mrs. Palin is calling for Obama to fire his chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, for calling a group of liberals “fucking retarded” during a private meeting.
How dare that big Jew use this hateful slur in a private meeting?!?
In a sanctimonious rant on her Facebook page, entitled “Are You Capable of Decency, Rahm Emanuel?”, Mrs. P compares his use of the word retarded to the use of “the N word.” She goes on to say: “Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.”
Jesus, this woman is a piece of work. She is beneath shameless. Is there a word for that (besides “cunt?”) She even asks in her idiotic Facebook screed, “Have you no sense of decency, sir?” I know that she employs a ghostwriter for her Facebook communiques, but what do you think the chance is that Mrs. Palin knows who made that phrase famous, and in what context? If she did know, would she be stupid enough to compare Rahm Emanuel to Joseph McCarthy?
I don’t like the way Mrs. P has positioned herself as the public defender of the disabled. Just because she happened to get herself a Down Syndrome baby, she doesn’t get to represent Down Syndrome. Her exploitation of her child’s disability is deeply immoral. This photo of her, posing with a “constituent,” is what’s heartbreaking.
Sometimes, in private, we use words that others might find offensive. I know I like to scream “you fat pig” at people on TV, for example. The first time I heard Bob Woodward on television, I asked my husband, “Is that guy retarded?” It was a real question: Woodward speaks very slowly. Every time he’s on TV now, my kid or my husband calls out, “There’s that retarded guy.”
Big fucking deal. I am a special needs mom, and I know where my heart is. I don’t need some self-appointed Queen of the Disabled Community to scold me or Rahm Emanuel.
Does that retarded bitch have no decency?
As McCain aid Steve Schmidt revealed on 60 Minutes, Mrs. Palin struggled to get Senator Biden’s name right, so she was advised to just call him Joe. Watch her screw up and call him “O’Biden” during this clip from their debate.
Haha Sarah, you ignorant slut! Never change; you are perfect just the way you are.
So much to love here! “How come nobody asked whether Joe Biden has the experience?” Hahahahahahaha!
I know it’s a big surprise, since I’m not a waitress or porn star, but nonetheless I did have an affair with Tiger Woods, just like everyone else. Having a beautiful Swedish wife is no guarantee of happiness, it can finally be revealed. Tiger promised to “wear me out,” just like he told that other tramp, but he was a little put off when I admitted that I hate golf and I never liked his stupid name.
Here are some of the questions I’ve been mulling over:
What’s the difference between a guy who loves to cheat on his wife and a Sex Addict?
Does anyone really believe in Sex Addiction? Are all compulsive behaviors “addictions” or just some of them?
Do people who trust trashy gold diggers want to be caught or are they just stupid?
Does anyone believe that the woman on the far right in the top row was really a Tiger Woods mistress?
The woman has sold her story to the Daily Mail, a ridiculous British tabloid for those who don’t know. It quotes this woman as saying something like “Tiger especially loved my red panties.” Crap like this reminds me of my own career as a highly skilled tabloid journalist. I would NEVER have expected to be paid for such a generic quote! My shit was soooo much better, even if it was something about Jessica Simpson’s penchant for french fries, a fact that I made up and later saw on every online newspaper and gossip site for days.
I shouldn’t complain about Tiger Woods, since he is a gift from god to me and all who are struggling to cope with daily existence. I bless the day he crashed his car. My hard drive died yesterday morning, and I had only the promise of Tiger Woods shit on TV to pull me through this bleak period of unconnectivity.
Thank you Tiger, and all you dumb trashy whores!
Mrs. Palin has over 800,000 fans on Facebook, where she posted a note today, asking people to watch racist crybaby Glen Beck on Fox news. Glenn’s corporate sponsors have been pulling their ads due to public pressure.
Here is a sample of the 3,471 comments to Mrs. P’s note:
How can we possibly reach the scrambled minds of people like Kathleen Thompson Papp? Let’s try!
Dear Kathleen,
What the hell is your problem? Do you know anything about Hitler? Do you know the difference between fascism and socialism? Why do you identify with Mrs. Palin? She would shoot your dog if it had antlers! Please put down that bacon cheeseburger and read some world history. God help you if you’re priced out of decent health insurance.
Love and concern,
Sister Wolf
Mrs. P and her Goon Squad are now turning their wrath upon a blogger who posted the alleged rumor that she’s planning to get a divorce. Here’s what her lawyer sent to the author of ImmoralMinority: (click for full size)
Notice that the lawyer, Thomas Van Flein, threatens to serve the blogger with a summons at the kindergarten where he works.
What a fucking baby this lawyer is! Is there nothing too low for these cretins?!? Now the pro-Palin blogs are going nuts with glee over “outing” this dedicated blogger (who calls himself Gryphen) as though being a kindergarten teacher is some kind of embarrassing crime. Some fucker at a blog called Texas for Sarah Palin is gloating about this letter and calls Gryphen a “beast,” noting that “we wouldn’t want such a creature shaping the minds of our precious offspring!”
Poor Gryphen. These stupid fuckers are trying to bully him into apologizing for starting a rumor on the internet. Why don’t they remember that Mrs. Palin JUST SAID in her resignation speech that our troops are fighting in Iraq to PROTECT OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH!
Obviously, there is no way that Gryphen could be found guilty of slander, but with enough effort these cunts can mess up his life and maybe even get him fired. I want to salute this man for teaching kindergarten and still having the energy to fight the scourge of evil and ignorance that is Sarah Palin.
Tell this cunt here that you support Gryphen’s freedom of speech. Tell Gryphen that you’ve got his back.
I insist on my right to call that stupid bitch anything I want, and Mr. Van Flein can kiss my ass. In fact, so can Todd, when the divorce is final!
Jesus, enough with the public confessions!
Watching the latest apology on TV tonight has been torture. Governor Mark Sanford has got to be the stupidest idiot who ever had an extra-marital affair, going on about it for a full twenty minute press conference. He really gives politicians a bad name with this kind of behavior. I was so embarrassed for him, I had to cover my face! He looked like he wanted to relive the entire thing on camera, even though he began by offering an apology to his wife and 4 “precious” sons.
“I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details…”
UGH! God, sickening.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times: DO NOT CONFESS! Even if your spouse finds you in bed with someone, deny it! Bill Clinton tried to do the decent thing and lie, but no, that wasn’t okay with Ken Starr.
Let’s say you know you’re not good at lying but you’re going to have an affair. Do everyone a favor and dispense with the immature email! I know Mrs. Sanford would rather find correspondence that got straight to the point. “It was great to fuck you, can’t wait to do it again!” would be so much easier t live with.
Those family values types are the worst, aren’t they? Maybe they enjoy the confessing part more than the sex part. If only they could either avoid getting caught or shut the hell up.
