Godammit, I’m Mad!

Mrs. Palin has over 800,000 fans on Facebook, where she posted a note today, asking people to watch racist crybaby Glen Beck on Fox news. Glenn’s corporate sponsors have been pulling their ads due to public pressure.

Here is a sample of the 3,471 comments to Mrs. P’s note:

How can we possibly reach the scrambled minds of people like Kathleen Thompson Papp? Let’s try!

Dear Kathleen,

What the hell is your problem? Do you know anything about Hitler? Do you know the difference between fascism and socialism? Why do you identify with Mrs. Palin? She would shoot your dog if it had antlers!  Please put down that bacon cheeseburger and read some world history. God help you if you’re priced out of decent health insurance.

Love and concern,
Sister Wolf

Mrs. P and her Goon Squad are now turning their wrath upon a blogger who posted the alleged rumor that she’s planning to get a divorce. Here’s what her lawyer sent to the author of  ImmoralMinority: (click for full size)

Notice that the lawyer, Thomas Van Flein, threatens to serve the blogger with a summons at the kindergarten where he works.

What a fucking baby this lawyer is! Is there nothing too low for these cretins?!? Now the pro-Palin blogs are going nuts with glee over “outing” this dedicated blogger (who calls himself Gryphen) as though being a kindergarten teacher is some kind of embarrassing crime.  Some fucker at a blog called Texas for Sarah Palin is gloating about this letter and calls Gryphen a “beast,” noting that “we wouldn’t want such a creature shaping the minds of our precious offspring!”

Poor Gryphen. These stupid fuckers are trying to bully him into apologizing for starting a rumor on the internet. Why don’t they remember that Mrs. Palin JUST SAID in her resignation speech that our troops are fighting in Iraq to PROTECT OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

Obviously, there is no way that Gryphen could be found guilty of slander, but with enough effort these cunts can mess up his life and maybe even get him fired. I want to salute this man for teaching kindergarten and still having the energy to fight the scourge of evil and ignorance that is Sarah Palin.

Tell this cunt here that you support Gryphen’s freedom of speech. Tell Gryphen that you’ve got his back.

I insist on my right to call that stupid bitch anything I want, and Mr. Van Flein can kiss my ass. In fact, so can Todd, when the divorce is final!

Visit Anti-Palin

Jesus, enough with the public confessions!

Watching the latest apology on TV tonight has been torture. Governor Mark Sanford has got to be the stupidest idiot who ever had an extra-marital affair, going on about it for a full twenty minute press conference.  He really gives politicians a bad name with this kind of behavior. I was so embarrassed for him, I had to cover my face!  He looked like he wanted to relive the entire thing on camera, even though he began by offering an apology to his wife and 4 “precious” sons.

“I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details…”

UGH!  God, sickening.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times: DO NOT CONFESS! Even if your spouse finds you in bed with someone, deny it! Bill Clinton tried to do the decent thing and lie, but no, that wasn’t okay with Ken Starr.

Let’s say you know you’re not good at lying but you’re going to have an affair. Do everyone a favor and dispense with the immature email! I know Mrs. Sanford would rather find correspondence that got straight to the point.  “It was great to fuck you, can’t wait to do it again!” would be so much easier t live with.

Those family values types are the worst, aren’t they? Maybe they enjoy the confessing part more than the sex part. If only they could either avoid getting caught or shut the hell up.

So here’s the story. The girl on the right is suing the tattoo artist on the left, claiming that she asked for 3 little stars on her face but ended up with 56.

Kimberly, 18, said she fell asleep while she was being tattooed. What a liar! Even if she isn’t lying, and she is, anyone who’d let that guy near them with a needle is out of their fucking mind.

Here’s another question. Should I have used “whom” in the title instead of “who?” I have no idea. When I don’t like the sound of “whom,” I don’t use it. That’s the rule I follow.

But I came across a blog whose authors are probably very nice girls, where a pair of old photos of Mick and Bianca Jagger is captioned: “how incredible are bianca and mick…I can’t decide whom I like best.” Is this good grammar? Mick, whom do you like best, Bianca or yourself?

In any case, one of the commenters noted:  “I think it’s seeing the both of them together that makes my heart race.”

I think this is even better than smitten, or “that sweater stole my heart!”

It makes my heart race when I discover new phrases to bother people with, or rather, with which to bother people.

Having been laid off from a job that paid $500 an hour, I am reduced to looking for work at craigslist.  Here is some actual correspondence from this week,  typos included, edited only to protect my identity.

Hello,

I am responding to your ad for a fashion, celebrity & lifestyle writer. I have been writing freelance for a tabloid magazine, and I write every day on my blog at http://godammit.com.

I would love to learn more about this job and look forward to hearing from you.

Best,
Sister Wolf
~

You seem very talented:) I like your work.

Me and a group of social media addicts launched a web site called smaknews.com, please signup to it and tell me what you think, tell me if you see your self working there.

Then send me your rate and goals.

Looking forward working with you:)

Michael Abehsera
CEO www.SmakNews.com
~

Hey Michael,

Sure, I could come up with 50,000 posts a day for your blog….but I really am interesting in earning some money from writing, since I have my own blog.

What are you paying your writers? I need to have a weekly sum, at least 50 bucks, or I can’t put my time into it. Know what I’m saying?

Thanks for reply!

Best,
Sister Wolf
~

50 bucks a week or per article? if its per week how many articles?

Michael Abehsera
~

Well, I am a bit confused about what you’re looking for!  So many of the posts at you blog are just taken from other blogs…

Are you looking for original content? If yes, I could write a couple of posts for 50 bucks.

Could we talk on the phone about this? Just so I can get a clearer idea of what you are looking for.
~

have you heard of the term social news site?
Any ways if you look at our site thats what we are like digg, reddit etc you post news from other sources, but we also have our own content.
So I am looking for original content.
Any ways for now we have enough writers starting I will keep you info for future reference, thanks.

Michael Abehsera
~

Okay, thanks. BTW, “anyways” is not a word.

Sincerely,
Sister Wolf

“…the creation of Twitter… is as significant and paradigm-shifting as the invention of Morse code, the telephone, radio, television or the personal computer.”

Oh god, if he would only shut up. How does Demi stand it?

“For someone like me who lives in a construct of filtered communication — packaged and polished by the industry that employs me — Twitter has become a new instrument for expressing myself and accessing cultural trends, opinions and information. Twitter is my front door to the Internet and my medium for sharing the content I create while advocating for the causes close to my heart and investing in the connections I want to have with people from all walks of life.”

Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge. Even though I don’t read his missives or see his TV shows, the fact of his existence is like a dental drill in my cerebral cortex.

What would you like to say to Ashton Kutcher in 140 characters or less?

I know it’s not just me, because I went to a dinner where everyone was shouting across the table about Sarah Palin. I am now feeling resentful toward CBS, which keeps dribbling out more pieces of Katie Couric’s interview with that fucking moron. Can’t we just get it over with?! It’s starting to feel like an ongoing root canal of a great big molar.

Try reading Mrs. P’s answer when Katie Couric asked her if she disagreed with any Supreme Court decisions besides Roe vs Wade:

“Well, I could think of, of any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I’m so privileged to serve, wouldn’t be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.”

How could Katie manage to contain herself?!  This sort of gibberish has inspired a Palinism Generator (thanks,  Nick, for finding it!)  My webmaster was nice enough to modify it slightly and here is our new version.

But it doesn’t stop there.  Here’s what Palin said in an interview with talk-show host Hugh Hewitt:

“It’s time that normal Joe Six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency.” [No, it isn't! ] “I know what Americans are going through. Todd and I, heck, we’re going through that right now even as we speak, which may put me again kind of on the outs of those Washington elite who don’t like the idea of just an everyday, working-class American running for such an office.”

Can’t you just hear that inexplicably Fargo-esque accent and diction??

She ends up revealing that the First Dude lost $20,000 from his 401(k) retirement account last week.  Wow, how the hell do you get to lose that much if you’re just, you know, Joe Six-Pack??

Here’s how: Regular ol’ Mrs. P is worth $1.2 million! How does she manage to look so trashy with that kind of money?!  Please, god, make that question come up in the debate!