Godammit, I’m Mad!

After suggestions that her cover photo on W magazine was photoshopped, Demi Moore has come forward to deny it. She has been very adamant that this is an un-retouched photo, even though her left hip is visibly out of line with her thigh.

Apparently, she has been blabbing about it on Twitter, where she and her husband never shut up for a minute.  She’s inisting that she’s “just thin.”

Remember a few weeks ago, when Demi said in an interview that she’ s never had plastic surgery?

Why, Demi, why? Is it a Kaballah thing to deny the obvious? Are you hiding the truth from poor Rumer just to torment her? Do you think we forgot about your boobs for god sake?

Demi Moore is the Ted Bundy of surgically enhanced celebrities.  She’s going to deny everything to the bitter end, even when there’s nothing left of her but a puddle of botox and a pile of hair extensions.

What is the point of Demi Moore, after all, except to represent an aging cougar with a young husband? If only she’d stayed with Bruce Willis, we would all be so much better off. Except for Bruce, of course.

Every night, I am glued to the TV while Nancy Grace sneers and yells into the camera that Casey whatshername is lying about the whereabouts of her two year old daughter Caley.

No shit, Nancy! The mom did it! The frustration with this mom’s failure to just admit it is driving Nancy and me nuts.  Nancy is like a circling shark, and I’m right there behind her. My husband can’t understand why I need to watch this, so I tell him it’s like people who love reading murder mysteries.

But it’s not really. I just want that bitch to admit it so Nancy and I can move on.  I know there are other things happening in the world, bigger stories, momentous events, but I need to get to the end of this grisly road. I need that woman to stop lying.  I’m taking it personally.

On the album “Nothing’s Shocking” by Jane’s Addiction, there is a song called “Ted, Just Admit it.” It’s about Ted Bundy, who didn’t confess until after he was sentenced to death.  On the eve of his execution, Ted Bundy gave an interview in which he blamed pornography for making him a serial killer.  Who knows what this emotionally vacant mom will blame.

I loved that Jane’s Addiction record. To this day, when someone I know is in denial about something, I mutter “Ted, just admit it!”  It never gets me anywhere, though.