Patti Smith gave a commencement speech at Pratt Institute on Monday night:
“I’ve been thinking about what I’d like to talk about: Moby Dick, the slaves of Michelangelo, Hans Hoffman, My Bloody Valentine, but now that I’m here, my greatest urge is to speak to you of dental care. My generation had a rough go, dentally.”
Listen to the whole speech here. No one is wiser, funnier, or cooler.
I don’t know why a gap between the front teeth is so endearing, but I assume it’s something to do with evoking babies. I can’t resist a gap-toothed smile. It’s only fair that Johnny Depp got the gappest-toothed woman in the world.
My BFF has a gap, and I’d ask my dentist to give me one if I thought he’d cooperate.
Is Brigitte Bardot the modern prototype, or was there someone before her?? (The Wife of Bath doesn’t count.)
A dead “swimsuit model” in a suitcase doesn’t seem very interesting at first glance. I remember another one they found out in the desert somewhere, murdered by some guy on craigslist.
But now the story has branched out in several directions, promising a perfect storm of sensationalist trash. The murder suspect is a former reality show contestant who has just finished filming another reality show. And not only that, but the cops have revealed that the victim’s teeth and fingers had been “removed.”
That is where I draw the line, and I hope you agree. If you have to kill someone and stuff them in a suitcase, so be it. But the teeth removal, no fucking way. It’s just too awful and unfair. It’s such an insult in every way.
Now VH1 will have the choice of scrapping season 3 of “I Love Money,” out of concern for the murder case, or going ahead with some inane excuse that there’s a moral imperative to air the show. They must be flipping out at VH1, thinking, “God, what a break! Our ratings will go off the chart!”
I don’t know where this will lead, in terms of creating a frenzy to distract us from the lack of new Michael Jackson minutiae. But for now we can all be grateful that we’re not stuffed in a suitcase somewhere without our teeth.
And when we watch a reality show and marvel at how crazy those people are, we will know there’s a chance theyr’e even crazier than they look.
