Godammit, I’m Mad!

God almighty, it just gets worse. I came across this tragic t-shirt at Ben Sherman (where I went after seeing some Ben Sherman trousers somewhere else, after spending what seemed like five hours of frenzied searching for the shoes I vowed not to buy.*)

Who actually started this military/marching band trend?  Was it Balmain, or was it Philip Lim? I see no end of it in the forseeable future. And I plan to make the most of it! I am going to savor every minute as the look makes its way to Forever 21 and Walmart.

Fashion trends seem more and more desperate. Just a few short years ago, I tried to sell an elaborately beaded Balmain suit on eBay, and I ended up getting $30 for it. I couldn’t understand why people weren’t dying to own it! It was fucking Balmain! But no one seemed aware of Balmain except for me and the old lady who manages the thrift-shop where I bought it.

Now that actress/disloyal label-whore Jennifer Connelly has dropped Balenciaga for Balmain, the whole thing has clearly jumped the shark. Don’t feel hurt, Balenciaga! Jennifer Connelly wasn’t even loyal to her own nose!**  Or to eating!

* Don’t worry, I didn’t buy the shoes.

** For more exciting celebrity plastic surgery, go here.

We all know that Beth Ditto is the new must-have accessory, but now I’m seeing evidence that Fat is the new fake trend in the new fake zeitgeist.

This model, Crystal Renn, is featured in Australian Harper’s Bazaar in a layout that “proves big is beautiful.”

Okay, good. She is indeed a beautiful woman, but this photo seems a little cruel. She looks vulnerable and somehow deformed. I don’t know. The same might be said of anorexics, but still. I’m not buying it.

Now we have American Apparel contributing to “Colossal Clothing” instead of just making their own shit in xxx-large.

Is this part of the New Economy? Will we all be eating junk food to stay alive and/or anesthetize our fear?

Now don’t get all mad at me about this; I’m just observing a trend. It’s not me being all size-ist. I’m as fat as the next person, at least in my mind, where it counts most. Here is a picture of a thrift shop dress I got a few months ago, size 4, and yet a Vision of Waistlessness. I am not yet worthy of hanging out with Kate Moss, but no little wisp of a fashion blogger, either.

Just be glad I didn’t take six different poses of this dress. And don’t tell me how I’m rocking it.

All other arguments are welcome!